PR: Blessed be the drone-bombers and the sky killers and the assassins from the sea, for they shall unleash the vengeance of the lord on random shopkeepers, small children, wedding guests, protesters and people of color everywhere. Yea, verily!
JC: That's it! Enough!
PR: Blessed be the politician who sells his soul to the ruling elites, for he shall be feted like the golden calf. Blessed be the corporation that exploits its workers, for it shall reap huge deductions under god's watchful eye.
JC: Okay, you asked for it!
PR: Blessed be the free market -- !
JC: Boo ya!
Before the congressman can finish, the
Savior zaps him with a bolt of lightning -- and behold! -- Ryan suddenly finds
himself standing on a snow-banked street corner in downtown Madison, dressed in
ragged pants and trench coat and holding a tin cup. Residents avoid him as they pass.
PR: What the -- ? Wait! Where am I? Wait! -- this is -- ! This is crazy! I'm Paul Ryan! Paul Ryan! Do you hear me!
Res #1: Take you hands off me, ya' bum!
PR: I'm rich and famous! I go on teevee all the time!
Res #2: Why don't you get a job? Stop mooching off people!
PR: I'm an important guy! The ruling elites love me!
Cold, hungry and alone, the former big shot quietly
slouches against a brick wall, buries his head in his hands and cries. He has become what he feared: one of the
nameless millions who depend on government assistance, and who are vilified
because of it. And then, at perhaps Ryan's
darkest hour, a hand gently lays upon his shoulder. Ryan looks up. It's Jesus, who takes him by the arm and helps
him to his feet.
JC: "What you do to the least of them, you do to me."
Yeah, sure, whatever. Forgiveness and brotherly love and all that "turn the other cheek" silliness. All I'm saying is, if Paul Ryan wants to believe poor people are poor because they're lazy, that's his right. He can pimp for the plutocrats all he wants. But when he tries to conflate his corporate-sponsored, Ayn Randian-based policies with the teachings of Jesus Christ, he needs to be called out for his hypocrisy. Sometimes a bolt of lightning just isn't enough.
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
3
2
1
