And it gets worse. Remember the dictum about good restaurants don't advertise?
"Good restaurants" in this college town are wind-shielding cars-- also known as littering--and posting We Have Take Take-Out And Delivery hand-scrawled signs on cardboard in their windows. White table cloth service--brought to you in clamshells and paper bags to enjoy by TV light!
Parents of Northwestern University undergrads may pay $36,756 a year for tuition, but that doesn't mean Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa could stay in business offering massages for $140 and facials for $180. It held its Grand Closing in 2008.
Still, the hardest part for copywriters in this recession is not the death of Grand Opening and Sale.
It's not finding value-conscious substitutes for "luxurious," "pamper" and "indulge" or a way of saying "staycation" without making people roll their eyes and want to flash their unemployment cards.
It's even not the 33 seconds of legal disclaimers mandated in radio ads that undo the preceding offer and make the announcer sound like Al Franken doing a gag.
It is finding a replacement for "needs."
Because in the days when people bought lattes, Pilates classes and $35 cab rides, no one questioned "hair care needs," "home-decoration needs," or even "cruise ship" and "jewelry" needs.
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