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OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 1/6/10

Al-Hui-Duh- A New Threat to America (satire)

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Message Mark Sashine
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P. Relax, we are not eating our bread for free. Our wizards found out that we have a great counter-measure, cheap and effective at the same time.

IN. Which one?

P. Oral sex.

IN, How?

P. Oh, that's easy. Every man who boards the airplane will have to go through the oral sex process. In case the flight lasts more than 4 hours- there will be another session administered on board of the plane. There will be no excuses unless a person presents a medical document about his impotence. Will work like a charm. No way any one- eyed snake will be able to do anything if taken care of that way. And we will have no complaints, I assure you.

IN. But who will administer that.. procedure?

P. Of course, we will engage the professionals. Here we have Reno, Europe can recruit much more. But those will be mostly the training personnel. The main ones will be the illegal immigrant women. We will promise them citizenship and a good job. In fact, they all will be federal employees.

IN. Any volunteers?

P. Of course. Some very prominent ones already lined up to show an example. Everything for the security of the US people! Even some men are ready to go. We also have a special program for gays. No discrimination and no profiling. There is a lot of true patriots who want to help to catch the terrorists.

IN . Catch? But this seems to be only the preventive measure.

P. That's because I haven't revealed the second part. See, the Al-Hui- Duh folks make some kind of an incision on their penises and that leaves a scar. Blow- jobbers can feel such scar and " lo- and behold we got him. The technique is that if the scar is felt the blow- jobber just does not release the penis and the person is arrested in the spot. That simple.

IN. Oh, yes. I have to tell you, Colonel that I feel much safer now.

P. You should then serve your country as a volunteer. Wanna go for it? We have part-time positions in JFK. You will get the best variety possible.

IN. Thanks, I "ll think about it.

P. Think fast. There is a rumor that noses are to be used next and that would be really ugly.

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The writer is 57 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE, CEM. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.

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