Send a Tweet
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 6 Share on Twitter Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 1/6/10

Al-Hui-Duh- A New Threat to America (satire)

By       (Page 3 of 4 pages) Become a premium member to see this article and all articles as one long page.   No comments
Become a Premium Member Would you like to know how many people have read this article? Or how reputable the author is? Simply sign up for a Advocate premium membership and you'll automatically see this data on every article. Plus a lot more, too.
Author 451
Message Mark Sashine
Become a Fan
  (58 fans)

P. Relax, we are not eating our bread for free. Our wizards found out that we have a great counter-measure, cheap and effective at the same time.

IN. Which one?

P. Oral sex.

IN, How?

P. Oh, that's easy. Every man who boards the airplane will have to go through the oral sex process. In case the flight lasts more than 4 hours- there will be another session administered on board of the plane. There will be no excuses unless a person presents a medical document about his impotence. Will work like a charm. No way any one- eyed snake will be able to do anything if taken care of that way. And we will have no complaints, I assure you.

IN. But who will administer that.. procedure?

P. Of course, we will engage the professionals. Here we have Reno, Europe can recruit much more. But those will be mostly the training personnel. The main ones will be the illegal immigrant women. We will promise them citizenship and a good job. In fact, they all will be federal employees.

IN. Any volunteers?

P. Of course. Some very prominent ones already lined up to show an example. Everything for the security of the US people! Even some men are ready to go. We also have a special program for gays. No discrimination and no profiling. There is a lot of true patriots who want to help to catch the terrorists.

IN . Catch? But this seems to be only the preventive measure.

P. That's because I haven't revealed the second part. See, the Al-Hui- Duh folks make some kind of an incision on their penises and that leaves a scar. Blow- jobbers can feel such scar and " lo- and behold we got him. The technique is that if the scar is felt the blow- jobber just does not release the penis and the person is arrested in the spot. That simple.

IN. Oh, yes. I have to tell you, Colonel that I feel much safer now.

P. You should then serve your country as a volunteer. Wanna go for it? We have part-time positions in JFK. You will get the best variety possible.

IN. Thanks, I "ll think about it.

P. Think fast. There is a rumor that noses are to be used next and that would be really ugly.

Next Page  1  |  2  |  3  |  4

(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).

 

Rate It | View Ratings

Mark Sashine Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

The writer is 57 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE, CEM. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEdNews Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Human Coprophagia

Y2012- The Year Of A Coward

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

They Think Of Us As Slaves ( small note with big conclusion)

The School. Reading 'To Kill a Mockingbird' in Russia

Glory and Malice

To View Comments or Join the Conversation: