"Not mortally...just pepper you with pellets. We have to have a diversion from Scooter's testimony, the sniveling little... anyway, the public may start paying attention to some of our activities since the anchors, oddly enough, are reporting..."
"So, I just have to go hunting with Dick and he'll shoot me in the foot?"
"Right. In the foot or something. You'll be fine, since he travels with a medical staff and his own ambulance. Remember, it's for the Party."
"One more thing. Keep it quiet for awhile. Wait about 18 hours before you announce it to really fan speculation. Then it will get more attention from the viewing audience and mainstream media than The Bachelor or American Idol."
"You're sure he's going to hit my foot, aren't you?"
"Of course, Harry. Dick has great aim. Just ask Justice Scalia. And why worry? I already told you. You'll think you're at the Mayo Clinic when you see Dick's doctors. It's one of the reasons we cut health benefits for the troops. Cheney's more important to the president."
"But what if something goes awry and I have a heart attack?"
"That might be even better. The media could talk about that for another couple of weeks. Remember, your country needs you and it's for a very noble cause."
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