-Michelle Obama- responsible for Haiti going green.
-Joe Scarborough- responsible for bullshit.
-Conan O'Brien-in charge of perpetual stupidity.
-Joe Lieberman- responsible for protection against violent Islam.
6. Breaking News: Haitians went to pray on Sunday. Overwhelmingly it was only one prayer, 'God, save us from the US and IMF.'
7. Breaking News: New definitions are released on the Day of MLK: African- Americans will be referred to as A- people and White people will be W-people.
8. The movie Avatar hit a snag in Russia where 'blue people' are associated with homosequality.
9. Security again.There will be free donations of the body- scanningmachines for the Port-au- Prince airport. Those machines cannot protect from the vodoo magic, though.
10. Promises to keep:
President Obama promised that Haiti would enjoy the same level of attention as New Orleans.
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