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Life Arts    H4'ed 3/7/14

The case of the solipsistic columnist

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Back in the day when a national TV network ran afternoon movies, we saw one that featured a fellow who faced a big dilemma.   He had to tell the magic fairy which of two potential spells she should cast on his girlfriend.   She would either become an ugly hag when they were alone and be seen as the most beautiful woman in the world when they were in public or she would be the most beautiful woman in the world when they were together in isolation but would be perceived as an ugly hag when they went out into society.   Yikes!   That could be a problem at the local pub, eh?

We have never been able to ascertain the title of that motion picture but it, in turn, provided us with a similar tough binary choice:   would a writer prefer to have hundreds of thousands of voters read his political punditry or would he tell the magic fairy to give him a very limited audience that included a Vice President who was a former classmate and about a hundred nationally known pundits?   What's not to love about having a lock on the right to the claim to be "the pundit other pundits read first!"? 

Some skeptical friends have cried "Coincidence!" when we pointed out to them that we have run items (such as a mention of smoking bath salts) and subsequently seen a front page article in a Sunday edition of the New York Times about that very topic.  

We have often wondered why the topic of slap art isn't being mentioned in the mainstream media, so if we announce our intention to cover the Slapocalypse 3 event on March 29 in Oakland, and if a certain daily newspaper headquartered in New York City does a feature story about it, we get to ask: "How many coincidences does it take to verify a trend-spotting hunch?" 

[Note from the Photo Editor:   The columnist went to the San Francisco History Expo and some snapshots of Emperor Norton was the best he could do.]

Hitler said:   "The man who feels called upon to govern a people has no right to say, If you want me or summon me, I will cooperate.   No, it is his duty to step forward."   Republicans will make sure J. E. B. reads this, eh? 

Now, the disk jockey will play Harry Belafonte's "Banana boat song," Tennessee Ernie Ford's "Sixteen tons," and Adele Dazeem's exquisite rendering of "Let it go."   We have to go fact check the rumor that Ahmed Chalabi is masquerading as a political consultant going by the name of Paul Manafort. Have a "I gets weary" type week.

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BP graduated from college in the mid sixties (at the bottom of the class?) He told his draft board that Vietnam could be won without his participation. He is still appologizing for that mistake. He received his fist photo lesson from a future (more...)

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