But nullifications also continue to stain these rosters of American patriots. Traitors and closet liberals include Joyce Dewitt, Delta Burke (McRaney's probably been mooning forever over this one), Connie Stevens, Susan Lucci, Faith Hill, Wanda Sykes and singer Winona Judd. Arsenio Hall bought the farm as well, taking former major league outfielder Lenny Dykstra and Jay Black (either Jay-Z or the leader singer of Jay and the Americans or a minor league comic of the same name -- wasn't clear from any listing or subsequent searches) with him.
Religious rockers Creed got the boot while scuzz rockers Saliva made the grade. Kathy Lee Gifford's history. Practicing thespian Lisa Hartman Black isn't. Nonentity Gallagher was escorted from the building. Nonentity Jeff Foxworthy was not. Former NASCAR daredevil Rusty Wallace didn't make the cut. Serial philanderer Tiger Woods did. Reggie Williams lost the game as Dean Cain carried the day. Funnyman Tim Slagle just got creamed.
Perennial conservative John Tesh is still hanging in there. But I've always found Tesh's politics a bit suspicious, his syrupy theremin-laced faux symphonies evoking (for some) scenes of nature (a conservative pet peeve) -- birds chirping, trees growing, Donald Blankenship taking a big dump in the woods...I don't think so.
The lists tout some real stunners. Sex symbol Matthew McConaughey came as something of a surprise, prompting me to wonder how naked bongo practice plays with the base, while actor Gary Oldman's presence near knocked me out of my chair. Responsible for one of my favorite characters in all of cinema history -- alcoholic Irish American thug Jackie Flannery in 1990's "State of Grace" -- the news Oldman hewed to the right side of the room felt like a gut punch. The revelation demanded research.
My results were confounding. Each of the "Righties" names has a link (on the original 2003 FreeRepublic list) to a subsequent "explanation" for any given celebrity's listing, many of which have now been scrubbed. Both McConaughey and Oldman have followed suit, their links void. On his own, however, Oldman generates considerable Yahoo space, none of which gave me more than a hint of why he was on the "Righties List" to begin with. He did make "Scum" Breitbart's (Tip of the hat, Keith) Hollywood site with a fawning bio while one contributer to the discussion thread on FreeRepublic feared the actor "had got fundie-ambushed in rehab like Gary Busey." It was with a fair amount of trepidation that I typed and re-typed Oldman's name into the search bar.
Now I don't follow Hollywood all that much (until now) and I'll admit if Gary Oldman had ever announced he wanted to nuke Tehran just for the gosh-darn-heck of it, well, it'd be news to me. Reading that this so-called "conservative" had refused to cross a SAG picket line to do some lucrative voice-over fluff for a Star Wars sequel just made the answer to my question all the more ambiguous. Suffice to say he'll retain my respect...until we nuke Tehran of course.
Speaking of Tehran, footballer and martyred peace movement hero Pat Tillman was included in the 2003 "Righties" congregation. His name remains on the "updated" 2010 version as well as on "Celebrities Who Lean." This, of course, I find appalling. Face it -- if anybody's ever been "nullified," it's Pat Tillman. Updates? Turn off the video games, Ryan. There's work to do.
Another anomaly is noted country singer and recently self-outed lesbian Chely Wright. Noted on both 2003 and 2010 lists, and I can't decide whether her current retention is another result of webmaster Ryan's laziness or if she plans to take a Cheney-type "Damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead" approach to her new (old actually) identity while attempting to keep her long-term fans. I guess time will tell.
The "Rockers" list is a personal favorite. Rock music and conservatism seem odd bedfellows, a perspective best exemplified by the now deceased Johnny Ramone's declaration "God bless America and George Bush," at the Grammy Awards a couple of years back. It just didn't feel right. Nor do Metallica vocalist James Hetfield's political sentiments in context. Another conservative anomaly, Hetfield looks like he might be a relatively decent sort -- until you read his lyrics that is.
so be it
threaten no more
to secure peace is to prepare for war
so be it
settle the score
touch me again for the words you'll hear evermore...
don't tread on me.
Other "Republican Rock Stars" as compiled by "Libertarian Punk" (indeed) Todd Seavey include singer Alice Cooper, public nuisance Ted Nugent, KISS bassist Gene Simmons, Bob Seger, Marilyn Manson, Sammy Hagar, Danny Elfman (former frontman for also-rans Oingo Boingo) and the Smithereens Pat Dinazio. One can only imagine the entire entourage on stage at the RNC in 2011 doing a 60-minute "free-form" version of "Whipping Post" before an encore medley of "Eighteen," "God Bless America" and "Achy-Breaky Heart," complete with a characteristic Nugent feedback solo thrown in for good measure. I wonder how that would play with the base.
Oh, there are more celebrities, lots more: John Travolta, Andy Garcia, Jaclyn Smith, Mike Ditka and Amy Grant; Tippin, Hucknell, Estefan, Osbourne, too -- Fleetwood Mac, Joan Rivers and Ricky Scaggs, wealthy folks scheming to put your kids in body bags --
C'mon girl...
Yes, conservatives are a quirky breed, but the faction's celebrities can actually help serve as a bridge between camps in our badly divided country -- familiar faces advocating compromise and moderation, Trisha Yearwood warbling epics of consolation and newfound oneness as we all rejoice, dancing in our hearts and souls. Imagine convening for a little one-on-one with these celebrity legends -- discussing, debating, shaping our mutual world. Visualize sitting down for some friendly agree-to-disagree with my chum Gerald McRaney. Or Yakov Smirnoff perhaps? Ben Stein maybe? How about the members of Manowar?
I don't think so.
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