Having scored four times already, with only half the bout over, Colbert let him slide with "So you're for some restriction on abortion." The damage done, Colbert launched a fresh line of attack. "On Gay Marriage in 2006 you said, 'I've never flip-flopped on gay marriage... I've always been opposed to it.'" Colbert followed the shot with a solid combination. He reminded Ford of quotes from a more recent vintage where Ford said he was for same sex marriage. Colbert finished the combination by drilling it home with "You were against it now you are for it."
A visibly dazed Ford tried to distract Colbert by pointing to Stephen's earlier joke about Matt Lauer's hunkie abs. Colbert didn't even slow down. He caught Ford again with a stinging backhand. "I'm not surprised you will consider gay marriage when he's around." Ouch! Ford, I think he just called you a closet queen. The crowd seemed to agree. The sickly grimace Ford wore as he tried to back out of harm's way made it clear he knew he'd just found himself on the chump end of the dozens.
Colbert celebrated his fifth and sixth points with a quick victory dance welcoming Ford to the "gotchya capital" of the world, reminding him he asked for it. So far, Ford hadn't even laid a glove on him.
Colbert, ever the sportsman declined to take advantage of that faux pas because Ford clearly had was not defending himself. A lesser man would have taken advantage of this opening to deliver a potentially lethal blow. Mistaking sportsmanship for something else, Ford got cocky. "You don't want to say something on that?" He asked, leading with his chin. Realizing that he had just pulled on Superman's cape, Ford started to back peddle furiously, "I'm kidding."
Too late. Colbert, switched tempo and came at him full force with a solid combination. "I'm not a fan of his, either." The punch was so crisp you could hear the smack several states away. That was followed by the even more devastating straight punch to the gut, "I'm glad you're distancing yourself from President Obama." Ford rocked back as far as he could without falling over, landing on the ropes.
Checking to see if his opponent was still competent to fight, Colbert did a field test of Ford's mental status. Colbert reminded Ford about his claim to have visited Staten Island because his helicopter had touched down there. "You remember saying that?" Ford, surprisingly, said he did not remember saying it. Obviously, the hits to the head were taking their toll. However, there were no judges to stop the fight, so Colbert did the only thing that made sense. He hit Ford with a clean uppercut that put him back on his heels. "Are there any other parts of New York you would designate as helicopter only?"
Once again, Ford rocked back and lay on the ropes, staring at the ceiling before the catcalls from the crowd reminded him where he was and that he was fighting for his political life.
Colbert, knowing a knockout would look like a beat down, pointed to Schenectady as a way out of the corner. Ford, not bright enough to grab the life preserver, came back swinging. "I was the Commanding Officer for the New York Police Department for the day." Then he described something that was clearly a ceremonial VIP tour. That sank his attempt to spin this story into one about his support for the police. He only connected with air, but at least it kept him off his knees.
Colbert, savoring his dominance, let Ford wobble through the final seconds to finish with a semblance of dignity intact. But the score was clear. Colbertnailed him a lot more than five times. One judge had him ahead by eight while Ford walked away with goose eggs. To quote his Republican colleagues, "Fordfought like acrazed Michael Steele."
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