I know you think I'm making this up, but I couldn't create this ugly a website if you paid me http://www.conservative.org/cpac
And that was just Day One.
So sober up and slurp some tea, because Friday, February 11th features champagne-chugging congress members, bipartisan pollsters, cutting spending, our leftwing judges, demonstrations of the cleanness of coal, IRS effigy burnings, Mitt Romney, cutting spending, Tom Price, caring for human beings if they are fetuses, immigrant bashing part 2, Marsha Blackburn, John Thune, and cutting spending.
There's even a second bit on the scandalous notion of cutting spending at the Pentagon with Grover Norquist. So be sure you've tossed all your tomatoes at the stage prior to that 11 am session.
Also at 11 am Grover Norquist will simultaneously be in another room hyping the need to confront the global menace of evildoers. I recommend booing him only in that session unless he's there by holographic trickery, in which case just unplug him.
At noon, for a change of pace, Grover Norquist will turn to the burning need to cut spending.
At 12:30 legitimately sane and decent opponent of empire Bruce Fein will sign his new and excellent book.
But, relax, because at 1 pm we'll plot the complete elimination of healthcare. Making swift work of that, we'll take on public schools at 1:15.
And at 1:30 you will NOT WANT TO MISS "The Awakening of the Conservative Woman" co-starring none other than our very own Michele Bachmann in another Citizens United production, followed by Phyllis Schlafly's remarks tentatively entitled "Oh go back to sleep for f*ck's sake."
You do have a choice, though, because Bruce Fein will also speak at 1:30, followed -- through a strange space-time continuum by a 1 pm book signing called "Obama Zombies."
This will go on in a similar manner for another day and a half. There will be labor union bashing, campaigns to get guns on college campuses, lessons in English writing from Tea Partiers, a Constitional I'm Not Making This Up Amendment to forbid spending money, Muslim bashing, and a session on prison reform that will probably be much more reassuringly lunatic than it sounds on the schedule, another awakening of the conservative woman (and her two friends!), Rick Perry, environmentalist bashing, cutting spending, Mitch Daniels, Connie Mack, and lots of ALCOHOL.
There is another sane bit on repealing the PATRIOT Act, which will be buried in a sea of spreading stupidity. And you will want to stay for the end so as not to miss Jim Woolsey on "The Sharia Challenge," tea partiers, spending cuts, and guns, guns, guns. Plus China and North Korea are planning to nuke us! And Zalmay Khalizad will reveal that he still thinks we should keep killing Afghans!
Ann Coulter will be there! Won't you?
And that was just Day One.
So sober up and slurp some tea, because Friday, February 11th features champagne-chugging congress members, bipartisan pollsters, cutting spending, our leftwing judges, demonstrations of the cleanness of coal, IRS effigy burnings, Mitt Romney, cutting spending, Tom Price, caring for human beings if they are fetuses, immigrant bashing part 2, Marsha Blackburn, John Thune, and cutting spending.
There's even a second bit on the scandalous notion of cutting spending at the Pentagon with Grover Norquist. So be sure you've tossed all your tomatoes at the stage prior to that 11 am session.
At noon, for a change of pace, Grover Norquist will turn to the burning need to cut spending.
At 12:30 legitimately sane and decent opponent of empire Bruce Fein will sign his new and excellent book.
But, relax, because at 1 pm we'll plot the complete elimination of healthcare. Making swift work of that, we'll take on public schools at 1:15.
And at 1:30 you will NOT WANT TO MISS "The Awakening of the Conservative Woman" co-starring none other than our very own Michele Bachmann in another Citizens United production, followed by Phyllis Schlafly's remarks tentatively entitled "Oh go back to sleep for f*ck's sake."
You do have a choice, though, because Bruce Fein will also speak at 1:30, followed -- through a strange space-time continuum by a 1 pm book signing called "Obama Zombies."
This will go on in a similar manner for another day and a half. There will be labor union bashing, campaigns to get guns on college campuses, lessons in English writing from Tea Partiers, a Constitional I'm Not Making This Up Amendment to forbid spending money, Muslim bashing, and a session on prison reform that will probably be much more reassuringly lunatic than it sounds on the schedule, another awakening of the conservative woman (and her two friends!), Rick Perry, environmentalist bashing, cutting spending, Mitch Daniels, Connie Mack, and lots of ALCOHOL.
There is another sane bit on repealing the PATRIOT Act, which will be buried in a sea of spreading stupidity. And you will want to stay for the end so as not to miss Jim Woolsey on "The Sharia Challenge," tea partiers, spending cuts, and guns, guns, guns. Plus China and North Korea are planning to nuke us! And Zalmay Khalizad will reveal that he still thinks we should keep killing Afghans!
Ann Coulter will be there! Won't you?
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