No abuser is entitled to that. The sooner help and healing come, the sooner the abuser will lose his hold. To victims everywhere: It is not your shame. Now do the work to banish that shame from your lives.
Judge Cleland expanded his advice for all of us to learn from the Sandusky scandal. We need, he emphasized, to stay vigilant in protecting our children.
No truer words.
As a father of five, I never assume everyone has their best interest in mind. As guardian of my children's hearts and souls, I teach them and prepare them about what could happen at sleepovers and strictly limited such activities. I make sure my kids know the difference between good and bad touches.
They know that anyone urging them to keep a secret from me is a bad person. They grasp that if they tell me a secret I will not allow bad things to befall them. Every parent preparing a child for the real world must be vigilant with protection and supervision.
My friend Dave Stoop, in his book Forgiving the Unforgivable, wrote a tough reminder that at times we are called to free ourselves from the past and the evil people in it. We can do that, difficult as it may be, by forgiving the most detestable acts. This is the only path to resolution.
Looking back over the decades of mounting abuses, it will occur to victims that the toughest to forgive are all the adults who knew or suspected something wasn't right. They knew and did nothing. That is as close to unforgivable as it gets.
A proverb tells us, "Anyone who winks at wrong causes trouble." In cases of sexual abuse, that person who winks at it or the suspicion of it inflicts pain, suffering and immeasurable misery.
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