We've been going at it all wrong. You don't take from the rich. You sell to the rich. You sell them what they crave more than cash itself: Status.
You know what gets wealthy folks excited and loosens their purses? Makes their little status-conscious hearts go pitter-patter? Exclusivity, that's what. The club we can't get into. The VIP table roped off with red velvet. The visible-to-all-the-masses sign that says, I'm better than you. I'm special.
If we're going to shake the money out of the rich we need to give them something showy, even gaudy, to buy. We need to offer them Premium Citizenship.
The first level of premium citizenship will cost $50,000 a year. These "Silver level" citizens get two votes, get to use carpool lanes, park in handicapped spots, and be excused from jury duty. Standard Peon citizens are Mr., Mrs., or Ms. Silver level citizens are Sir or Madam.
Gold level citizenship costs $250,000 a year. These worthies are addressed as Most Honored Sir or Madam and enjoy additional benefits and immunities. A Gold citizen gets five votes, may jump the line at all government offices and smoke anywhere.
Diamond level citizenship starts at one million dollars a year, they cast 25 votes, receive a special coat of arms designating their place of residence, and are to be addressed as My Lord and My Lady. All government services will be provided to them, at home, including DMV.
Diamond level citizens shall enjoy one "get out of jail free" card per calendar year, as long as they maintain their status. This exemption will cover all misdemeanors, one per year, and every fifth year one felony, up to and including mayhem, but excluding all capital crimes.
For those who will settle for nothing less than the best, we offer the ultimate: Quantum Level Citizenship. A strictly limited number of these will be available. The cost for Quantum Citizenship shall be a minimum of one billion dollars.
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