"According to the
experts, Bob, a tsunami caused by a large chunk of land falling into the ocean
is somewhat different than the more common type caused by an earthquake in the
ocean floor. This kind tends to produce a larger wave that can be seen out in
the ocean, and in fact spotter planes are on it and following it and estimates
put this humongous swell at four hundred to five hundred feet high."
"Five hundred
feet? Now that's a monster. I remember when Mickey Mantle was here in the 60s
and hit one over the roof that was estimated to be over five hundred feet and
possibly as far as five hundred fifty feet, which would be even higher than
your tsunami, Ted. Boy, that Mantle could blast 'em. Well, Carson's headed back
to the Yankee dugout and O's shortstop Jason Spire steps in to see if he can
bring Miller home from second."
"Here's another
bulletin, Bob. We're being told this gigantic tsunami is headed for the East
Coast of the US and at this point it appears likely it will strike somewhere
between Virginia and Boston."
"Whoa, Ted, that's
a little too close for comfort. Do they say when it might hit?"
"No, but we can
guestimate. Let's say it's four thousand miles away and if it's traveling at
five hundred miles per hour that would be about eight hours till landfall, but
don't quote me on that."
"That's a little
bit of good news. We'll definitely have time to finish this game and still have
a few hours for a quick getaway. Bosley throws his fastball and Spire swings
through it for a strike. Bosley checks the runner at second, pauses, and throws
a slider but Spire was looking for it all the way and pushes a lazy grounder
toward first. It's slow enough to enable Miller to make it to third standing up
and Spire's out at first but he gets high fives from his teammates for a
successful sacrifice moving Miller to third base with only one out."
"Bob, another
update has came in. The tsunami now looks like it's headed our way and will
make landfall between Virginia and New Jersey, which puts us right near the
center of the bull's eye."
"As soon as we
finish the bottom of the fourth inning the game will be official and in the
books, so if it gets called early it'll still count as a win for the Orioles. I
don't imagine there's ever been a game called on account of a tsunami before."
"I would think
not. Our statistician Jerry Phelps has been checking, though. Of course back in
the days before night lighting all games were day games and sometimes would
have to be called due to darkness. And Jerry informs me there have been a few
games called due to mosquitoes or other swarming insects."
"No kidding? I
didn't know that."
"Yes, that's
happened twice. The bugs were so thick it was hard to see through them and they
were getting in the player's eyes and made it impossible to play ball."
"But a tsunami has
got to be a first."
"Undoubtedly. Hang
on there, Bob, yet another update, though they're being called emergency alerts
now. Scientists have calculated that Baltimore and the Washington D.C. area
will be ground zero for the tsunami so we are definitely sitting in the
crosshairs of this puppy."
"Wouldn't you know
it, Ted, and I just finished paying off my house. I wonder if flood insurance
covers tsunamis. I'll have to check the fine print and talk with my agent. OK,
Bobby Green, the rookie sensation this year, takes a hack at a big Bosley curve
ball and pops it up in fair territory. Woodall comes racing out from behind the
plate and signals for it and now it's two out with a man on third. Bosley seems
settled down and if can get a third out here he'll have minimized the damage
and held the Orioles to one run."
"Speaking of
damage, Bob, it's being estimated that a wave of this size, if it holds its
present speed and course, could surge as far as one hundred miles inland or
even farther, demolishing everything in its path."
"I wonder what the
O's would do if Oriole's Park gets knocked out by the tsunami? They could
always use their spring training facilities in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, as a
short term solution, though they'd definitely have to add thousands of more
seats to accommodate the fans."
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
