If the science is correct, the good news is that we can change our response on every level--from the conscious to the autonomic. When we alter our thoughts, are soothed by a kind authority, or are assured that we are in good hands, we can begin to feel the changes in our bodies--the softening of muscle fiber, the opening of bronchial tubes, the quieting of pain, the start of healing.
This is why so much of Verbal First Aid is directed to the alleviation of anxiety through the development and utilization of rapport. In rapport, a person will feel, "She understands me." "He is going to help me." "I'm safe, now." When we are speaking to children, this safety is even more vital because their brains are developing not only in experience but in integrative faculties. This means that when they are feeling frightened or hurt and someone is there to 1) help them, 2) take charge benevolently, 3) make them feel secure, and 4) teach them what to do with the sensations and emotions they are experiencing. This last one--which integrates thinking and feeling--is a lifelong resource. It is what enables them to be resourceful, adaptable and healthy.
It is true for everyone: when we feel understood, our anxiety is reduced. And when anxiety is reduced, pain is relieved. Even if we are entirely alone, clinicians and scientists agree that what we say to ourselves matters and we can direct our thoughts so that our chances for survival are enhanced.
First Response With Words
Whether you're speaking to yourself or to someone else, how you approach someone mentally and emotionally is at least as important as the medical expertise you have, according to Winnie Maggiore, former Asst. Chief of Placitas Volunteer Fire Brigade, paramedic, former Asst. D.A., and now a malpractice defense attorney. "We saw the same things in the wilderness that we saw locally--snake bites, mountain bike wrecks, breaks, falls, cardiac conditions--but the injuries in the wilderness feel worse to the patient in that he's away from familiar surroundings. Most of what we had to do in rescues was anxiety management. The first step is to let the person know you have the expertise to help. This conviction allowed us to say "do this' in a way that motivated compliance."
The other major ingredient in dealing with crises, according to Maggiore, is giving people some sort of control over what is happening to them. "When we were just learning emergency medicine, we were given a course in hypnosis so it could be used in pain control, because it could be all we'd have to work with out there. The worst part for patients was being out of control so put them back in control as much as we could, gave them something positive to focus on. Panic is a patient's worst enemy."
People normally want to reassure with blanket statements, e.g., "you're fine." When this is obviously untrue, it's the sort of statement that breaks rapport. It's better to say, according to the experts, that the worst is over and you're there to help. Your caring presence is the cornerstone of the healing process. If you don't know what to say, say nothing and listen as you wait for help or do standard first aid. Your caring compassion can do more than you might imagine.
The following is an example of ways we can talk to a child in distress so that he is calmed, his pain is reduced, and he is moved steadily towards healing
Taking A Tumble
Five-year old Sandra skids down the trail and slides into a sharp rock. When she gathers herself up, blood is pouring down her leg from a 3-inch laceration along the side of her calf. Her mother, Kim, well-prepared for a full day hike, pulls out some Betadine, cleans the wound, applies sterile gauze on top of it and wraps it with a clean, cotton bandana. As she does, she speaks to her daughter so that the bleeding stops and healing begins.
Sandra: (crying) Mommy! It's bleeding.
Kim: It is and that's actually a really good thing so that itcleans out the wound. As soon as I've washed it through enough, you can stop [Kim emphasizes "stop"] the bleeding.
Sandra: Owie!!
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
