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Life Arts    H4'ed 2/3/10

Flirting with Disaster

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My philosophy and formula for understanding men is pretty simple. Men will tell you exactly who they are at a pace that is compatible with their comfort level, plus their heart rate, times their salary divided by their IQ. They are not cattle that like to be prodded (or tortured) and sometimes, they are not thinking about anything more mundane than that they forgot to pick up their dry cleaning. Think about that the next time you see a field of them chewing cud, gazing vacantly in the distance. And no, you are not going to change them any more so than you are going to lose those five pounds I have heard you complain about for the past decade. Talk about it all you want; some things don't change.

Being a magician in (or out of bed) is one thing. Being a master of your own delusion is something else. For all the "Bunnies"" out there that still haven't figured it out, if you really want to stop flirting with disaster, I suggest you acquire some male friends (don't sleep with anyone from this group at all) for the pure joy of friendship and unique perspective they can bring to the table. If you can do that, there's a pretty good chance you may even be invited to sit down and join them.

But don't expect candy and flowers on Valentine's Day. That goes for the men, too.

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Patricia A. Smith is a writer and artist (and sometimes both at the same time). A former columnist, restaurant critic and cruise line executive, Smith has lived in London, Greece, Denmark, Hungary, Egypt, Costa Rica and France. She returned (more...)
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