"Well sometimes there are things that we can effect and things that we can't affect. Often the things we fear, have anxiety over, are the things we don't believe we can change. Do you think there is nothing you can do to change what you think is happening?"
"I don't know."
"Well what I want you do between now and our next visit is to think about the moments between you and that event you feel is coming and think about what you might be able to do that would change the outcome."
I left the office feeling the same fog I had gone in with, but sharing my dark prophesy, hearing the words escape the dark womb of my numb mind, birthed painfully into a now shared reality, my core felt relaxed.
As the week wore on I tried to channel that panic into some constructive idea. At some point I realized that the big problem wasn't me. Which is either the moment I regained my sanity or totally lost it. But I realized that it wasn't the impending authoritarianism that I was paralyzed by but the disconnect of my knowing it was coming and the rest of the world who didn't know it was coming.
I realized I could no longer be a reluctant prophet. Rather than fearing this awareness I had to share it. And my fear of uttering my reality morphed into an urgency to tell it - to everyone.
The only thing about my prophesy I didn't realize was that it would all unfold in excruciatingly slow motion. The proverbial frog in the pot of water, the temperature being increased ever so incrementally.
The cycle of shock and desensitization that has gone on now for years. I see and try to shine a light on it, but its maddening. As pointless as scooping a handful of water out of the ocean and watching the water fill in immediately around it. The truth is being swallowed so fast. But I have to keep telling it. I have to spread the truth like it is a disease to the system of lies that wanted to devour us all.
Please keep truth telling. Even if they call you a conspiracy theorist. Even if you are ostracized or get weird stares..