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To America From A Canadian: Concerning The Hate-Filled Homophobes of The Religious Right

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Message Mike Cowie
Now I'm not saying that all Right-Wing Christian Conservative Blow-Hard homophobes are secretly gay, I'm just saying that I find it quite interesting that they are all so totally and utterly obsessed with preventing gay marriage from becoming a legal option and that they so passionately insist that the availability of gay marriage is going to somehow threaten their own current marriages.

And, by the way, I've got no problem with any, or all, of the RWCCBH homophobes being gay, if that's what they indeed are. Though I most certainly do have a problem with their hypocrisy.

Further Temptation

I sometimes wonder if the availability of interspecies marriage would tempt the RWCCBH homophobes as much as gay marriage seems to. Would the possibility of marrying, say, a sheep, cow or zebra cause as much distraction and temptation as same-sex marriage does? Would it threaten their current marriages in just the same way? How about if it were legal to marry one of your siblings, would such a possibility also cause them to consider fleeing their current spouse? I wonder.

Perhaps they should stop worrying about other people's love lives and life commitments and instead focus on their own for a while. Because, obviously, it doesn't matter if other people are marrying trees, cars, bananas, blow-up dolls or even Siberian huskies, the fact is nothing threatens a person's marriage but the reality of their own relationship with their spouse (though, sometimes, a really hot co-worker full of lust and desire can be a bit of a threat too, I guess).

Procreation vs. Love

As these RWCCBH homophobes clamor for reasons to deny gays the same rights they themselves enjoy they ridiculously point to procreation and state that marriage is primarily intended to make babies. Yeah, that's right, not surprisingly, the main reason for getting married, according to these lovers of all things pre-Enlightenment, is not in fact love, but, rather, to simply produce offspring.

Not wanting to get into the obvious psychological deficiencies and personality disorders that have so clearly inflicted anyone in the modern world who marries for procreation over love, let me just say that I can't really imagine these RWCCBH homophobes denying infertile individuals the right to marry. Nor can I imagine them disqualifying postmenopausal women from marriage either. So why the concern with baby-making abilities when it comes to gays? I mean, besides the obvious homophobia, hatred and small-mindedness, of course.

Fear and Loathing... and Bible Study

What's with these people anyway? I mean, they're scared of everything. If it's not God condemning them to hell for masturbating, it's "socialized" medicine turning their beloved homeland into North Korea, and/or it's "liberal educated elites" pushing evil, dangerous stuff down their children's throats. Stuff like science. Come on guys, you can't be terrified of everything, can you?

Me? The only thing that really scares me is them. That is, the only thing that really terrifies me is the possibility of these Right-Wing Christian Conservative Blow-Hard homophobes one day actually taking over America. It may seem unlikely now, but seeing that their numbers continue to grow almost as fast as their minds continue to close, it is, sadly, a distinct possibility.

And, if it ever were to happen, forget about same-sex marriage. How about life without science, government services or masturbation? And in its place nothing but a shitload of Bible study? Yeah, I'm talking about a take over by the American Taliban.

In which case I suspect that we here in Canada would feel a lot like the Dutch and Belgians in the late-1930s. That is, not exactly very safe or secure.

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Mike Cowie is a 42-year-old freelance writer, who lives together with his wife and son just outside of Vancouver, B.C. After spending 15 years living, travelling and working overseas Mike returned to live in Canada back in 2004. His final trip, (more...)
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