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OpEdNews Op Eds    H4'ed 1/6/10

Al-Hui-Duh- A New Threat to America (satire)

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Message Mark Sashine
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P. Oh, yes, this is a new organization and unlike Al-Qaeda it is real, all right.

IN. Are you implying that Al-Qaeda is not real?

P. Oh, come on. Osama was the CIA wetboy gone rogue. They decided to kill him and did not succeed. As if those morons ever succeeded in anything besides covering their asses. Now, he got pissed and devised a perfect revenge plan. When our morons needed to legitimize Bush they concocted a false flag operation according to which several planes were supposed to be hijacked with hostages after which our heroic Pretzel- In- Mischief was to step in and save the people's lives . I am pretty it sure it was Cheney's idea; it suits that vampire perfectly. Anyway, CIA asked their Saudi brothers to provide the double agents and those were happy to oblige. The only problem was that those folks had their own agenda in mind and they blew the towers. When Bush pissed into his pants his cronies quickly came up with the devilish Al-Qaeda. Immediately after that in the Y2001 at least three Intelligence Services (Russian, German and Italian) expressed their doubts about the existence of such organization. Russians were the most blunt- they simply rejected the idea. Obviously, because this new Al-Hui-Duh is their doing. They are laughing their penises off right now. If you don't mind I would like to put my penis back into my pants now. It is chilly here.

IN. Please. But why is that Al- Hui...whatever, a Russian baby?

P. Etymology, my dear Watson. Hui means Penis in the Russian obscene slang. It took our analysts about $5mln to crack the code but they did it. Turned out that Al-Hui-Duh means "Deadly Penis' and is a combination of the Russian obscenity and Nation of Islam Ebonics. Only Farrakhan has nothing to do with it. Some Nigerian dudes who studied here suggested the name.

IN. Nigerians? Wasn't that young man an Nigerian? The Christmas terrorists.

P. Oh, that one was one of ours. The real penismen were on that flight too and we needed to know how would they react if they see the competition. They were not on an active duty though.

IN. Active duty?

P. Yes, when they are activated to do the job. Then they usually work in pairs, sit in two different places and " you know" prepare themselves. In our crummy planes that's easy- you can get an erection just from the view of the flight- attendant's ass. Or you can rub against anything-who cares. In the Northwest flight they sat together- most likely they were just going somewhere.

IN. Who are those people?

P. Oh, they are males, mainly from Caucasus, Mediterranean or Middle East. Joe Lieberman can protest as much as he wants but there is a lot of Jews among them. No surprise- a suicidal bunch those Jews are.

IN. The Jews? Why do you think so?

P. Isn't that obvious? Only a suicidal group would work hard to develop a never-ending hatred towards them from their closest relatives and also to lick the boots of those who killed 6 million of them. No wonder Jews offered their penises for sale, so to speak.

IN. But why?

P. Supply and demand, my dear. We wanted fear, we wanted danger and we wanted the enemy. And the enemy obliged. Just imagine- somewhere in the desert they train thousands of men to handle the deadly penises and no scanning machine can save us from doom.

IN. OMG! Is there any way to stop them?

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The writer is 57 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE, CEM. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.

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