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Advice To GLBT Kids Coping With Bullies

By       Message Mic Hunter       (Page 2 of 3 pages) Become a premium member to see this article and all articles as one long page.     Permalink

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"Please speak up, I didn't hear you"No, I still didn't get all of it, please say it louder."

Be Delighted

Since the goal of bullying is for the victim to be embarrassed and humiliated, to refuse to do so is to defeat the purpose. Eleanor Roosevelt was speaking about race when she said, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent," but her message is just as appropriate for GLBT people.

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"Oh, how nice of you to notice."

"Nothing gets past you, oh observant one."

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"You say, "queer' like it's a bad thing."

"You can say that again."

Be In A Different Play

Social roles are like theater in that specific behaviors are expected of the characters that make up the scene. The motivation of the bully is clear, to look powerful by picking on someone who is perceived to be weak and vulnerable. When the bully recites his or hers line, "F_cking f_ggot," it is in effect a cue for the victim to respond accordingly to expectations. The role of the victim is to tolerate the mistreatment and be humiliated. But, just because a certain response is expected, doesn't mean that it has to be forthcoming. The victim can resign from that role and play another, better, role by responding to the cue how he or she desires- the more nonsensical the better.

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"Sometimes the magic works, sometimes it doesn't."

"No thanks, I've already got one."

"Nice of you to offer, but no thanks."

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Dr. Mic Hunter is licensed as both a psychologist and a marriage and family therapist. He is the author of numerous books. His private practice is in Saint Paul, Minnesota, where he lives with his wife of 27 years. He is the author of numerous books (more...)

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