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OpEdNews Op Eds    H2'ed 12/26/17

Adventure in Blunderland

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"I don't think you can say 'climax' anymore either," Alice warned. "But that must've been fun to watch."

"Fun, no. Complex and layered, my dear." The Hatter rubbed his Chinny-chin-chin. "You see, there were two Queens running for Queen, and when one won, the other shouted, 'Off with their head!'. Instead of running the country, the two candidates and their teams continued their war with each other." He raised a hand. "Which wasn't so bad for a while because the serfs had a moment to breathe. But that didn't last long. Realizing that their time in power might be limited, the reigning Queen and their acolytes passed an edict demanding another pound of flesh from the serfs. And, to keep the serfs from sharpening their guillotines, they launched the "My Lives Matter, Too" circuses, pitting chartreuse Blunderlanders against turquoise Blunderlanders to keep them from watching the Treasury."

"Ooh, sounds brutal," said Alice.

"The more brutal, the better. But that wasn't enough. You see, it turns out that each Queen's acolytes were very intelligent. But, the only goal they shared together was a love of power and wealth. And war--as a means to power and wealth."

"Isn't it always?" snarked the Rabbit.

"Indeed. So one wannabe Queen and their intelligent acolytes wanted war first with the barbarians in Roost, and then, when the chickens come home from Roost, the tragedy would be replayed by a second war with Farce. The other Queen and their intelligent acolytes wanted war with East Goreyou and Qin. So until they could build up the tension enough to convince the serfs to line up for slaughter, they fought a war of words via their town criers, who were posted outside the palace to shout each other down on all the communications networks. One side pretended that the Roosters were sending fake news to Blunderland by carrier pigeons. The other side insisted that the Goreyou's owls were a reason for pre-emptive attacks. And both political teams were hoping the propaganda of their online bots would be bought, as they were themselves by the billionaires."

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"Well, don't keep us in suspense. Who won?" asked the Rabbit.

"The orange Queen won the first round, and the Pink Queen the second. But, by delaying war for the domestic fight, the serfs won most of all. And, they had the time to think about what was behind all of the noise around them and 'cui bono?'. They realized that they were being played for suckers and went on strike, leaving the billionaire citizens of Blunderland to watch their infrastructure crumble and their useless products and services rot on the shelves. The serfs declared their independence from consumerism and materialism and returned to a sustainable and peaceful existence beyond the gates of Blunderland.

"Wait, didn't the barbarians eat them alive out there?" Alice wondered.

"No. It turned out that people from the 'barbarian' countries also wanted peace. And that the real barbarians were the Queens and the billionaires."

The Rabbit shook his head. "Well, I don't know, Hatter. It kind of sounds like a fairy tale to me."

"Ooh, a fairy tale!" jumped in Alice. "In that case, what's the moral of the story?"

"Considering all the online games the Blunderland leaders played, I suggest paraphrasing Scott. 'Oh, what a tangled World Wide Web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.' said The Hatter chuckling.

The Rabbit and Alice both groaned.

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Jill Jackson is a writer, mother, wife, military veteran, and hard-core pacifist and liberal. She swallowed the red pill after 9/11.
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