*Will you support the Republican efforts to continue to force America's college students to continue to pay extremely high rates of interest on student loans that now, collectively, total nearly $1 trillion? That what we need in this country are far more of the type of students who attend Harvard, Yale, Princeton and other prestigious schools and don't need to ask others for help to get an education?
*Will you align yourself with your fellow GOP party members to institute policies and laws to prevent the women of America from controlling their own bodies and the way that they conduct their lives? Do you agree with the belief that these women have overstepped their bounds and need to be reined in before this situation gets totally out of control? As we know, once you let them out of the kitchens then all the problems start; this dire situation cannot be allowed to go any further.
*If you run for the U.S. Senate will you swear that you will support the Republican agenda to filibuster every attempt to create new jobs for desperate Americans? And will you stand by the GOP leadership's close alliance with Corporate America to continue to outsource massive numbers of American jobs to China, India, Bangladesh and other overseas nations?
*If you run for the house will you swear to follow the agenda of the emerging powers of the GOP membership, aka the Tea Party, to object to everything the government is doing and help in the effort to dismantle it entirely; except to use this new, limited government as the facilitator and funding mechanism for America's agenda of perpetual war and expansion of its massive empire of bases?
*Will you absolutely declare your total allegiance to Corporate America and do everything in your power to advance its objectives and its special interests above all else; and will you promise that you will never allow the interests and needs of the American people to deter you from what must be considered your main mission, i.e., whatever the masters of Corporatism propose?
*And, finally, do you fully agree that the Democratic Party is directly responsible for every major problem that this country faces and that it represents a monumental danger and threat to the future of this country?
Now, when you have completed this test it will be examined by a panel of prominent Republicans who have created these questions in the hope of attracting those kind of Americans who reflect great patriotism, love of country, those who reflect the best family values, who regularly attend church and follow the principles of ethics and morality; in other words the best, most outstanding and exceptional citizens that exist in this, the greatest country on the face of the earth. Those who do not possess these unique qualities and characteristics need not apply.
After this prestigious panel finishes the review of all candidates, it will announce those who have qualified, who will then be certified to run for office as Republican candidates for office. Now, for those who qualify and express the desire, they will be eligible for a further, much more intensive and difficult test in order to achieve the next higher level of party brinksmanship and obstruction and be inducted into the Tea Party.
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