What I Have in Common with Trump; and other shared attributes - by Ethan Kuperberg

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I love television.

I have almost zero understanding of international politics.

I have never been democratically elected President of the United States.

I have not exercised in 2017.

I look awful in hats.

I have a recurring nightmare in which my father tells me that he is not proud of me.

Melania Trump has no interest in having sex with me.

Hillary Clinton is much smarter than I am, and I know it.

 I am not on the correct medication.

I have recently Internet-stalked the people who bullied me in middle school.