OR DID SHE????
A hot new counter-conspiracy theory is already on the rise, spiraling out of Birther mythology much like the "Earthers" we've previously reported on. But this new theory isn't arguing whether Obama is or is not a Natural Born Citizen, but whether Orly Taitz actually paid up her money or not.
The group - calling itself "Checkers" - is convinced that Orly still owes $20,000 dollars to Judge Land, and that the image of the check is either a total phony, or doesn't provide enough evidence to prove that the money was indeed handed over.
"All she would have to do is show it to us, and we'd be satisfied. Why won't she show us the long form of the check? It's a bit puzzling."
Another, some say the first Checker, Bill Furg, not only reiterated what Mr. Bees said, but also pointed out that the signature on the check does not match Orly Tatiz's other signatures, nor does her handwriting seem at all similar. Several anonymous handwriting experts came forward on Furg's website, ORLYGATE, to add their testimony to his, and promise to reveal more of their credentials sometime next week, provided they get some tasty paypal donations.
Calls to the Bank of America to confirm that this particular check was legitimate was met with an unhelpful stone wall of "no comment," followed by a non-denial denial from Myron Steelshanks - Chief Teller of Orly's Branch in California.
"No one outside of the owner of the checking account, the person it was written to, and bank employees have any business whatsoever looking at a full, information-laden check," he said: "If I have to explain why, you're an idiot. If you have no problem wanting to look at someone else's financial information, take the initiative and post your own up online so complete strangers can play with it. And have a nice day."
Mr. Steelshanks' tantrum was oddly backed up by the bank, itself, which quickly sent around an internal memo stating that, due to the large number of Checkers calling up to verify that Orly Taitz's check was legitimate, all tellers had the right to refuse to even give such persons the time of day, and could blow rape whistles into the phone and hang up with total corportate impunity.
Having been stonewalled by the Bank of America, the Checkers are weighing their legal options. Still others have detailed stranger scenarios, such as the one that proves, extensively, with much legal documentation, that immigrants from Moldavia aren't Constitutionally allowed to write checks in the first place. However, most Checkers admit that Vinnie Gotfriedo's theories are just a little "out there."
Are the Checkers right? Did Orly weasel out of yet another chance to pay her debt to the American legal system? Is the American government, banking system, and Obama himself in on the conspiracy to deny Georgia $20,000 that could be spent on getting Judge Land another solid gold golf cart?
Only time will tell... But as it's Tuesday, here's Thomas Dolby to help us out. We have, indeed, been blinded by science.