"The President refused doctors but allowed a linguist. His staff and advisors, concerned about him for months, reluctantly agreed. The President kept the oval office cold, too cold for most to be comfortable there. The Linguist found it quite comfortable.
The President immediately liked the Linguist.
The Linguist was a scratch golfer, as was the President. The two men had much in common. They both had dated redheaded sorority girls in college. They both hated rum -- they both had gotten terribly sick from drinking a trash can concoction made primarily of rum and Hawaiian Punch. They both thought Bill O'Reilly was a prick.
The Presidents Chief of Staff had filled the Linguist in on what everyone perceived to be his problem: he was obviously going mad. The Linguist nodded his head and asked the Chief of Staff if he was aware of Pierpont's theory of sophistic apoplexy. He wasn't. The Linguist cut to the chase and explained that it simply meant that when one is overburdened with one's or an other's bullshit, one can start to verbally hemorrhage, typically repeating a single word or phrase, sometimes in a language foreign to the afflicted one.
The Chief of Staff was dubious. However, the President was inappropriately repeating the word "no" in conversation and speeches, sometimes in English and also in German, Mandarin and an archaic Uto-Aztecan dialect of the American Southwest. The President's wife blamed the situation on the Chief of Staff and the Chief of Staff blamed it on the First Lady. The Linguist assured them that he would do his best to determine the cause.
The Linguist suggested to the President that their sessions would be most effective and salubrious on the golf course. The President agreed. On the very first hole the President called out "nicht" instead of "fore". The linguist noted that "nicht" was actually "not" and not "no" in the German language. He didn't correct the President..."
From "Angels Carried Him' by Franklin Cincinnatus
"I really miss Kurt Vonnegut" Franklin Cincinnatus
