Self-sabotage is a tendency to do the very things that make you unhappy. A self-sabotager unwittingly (unconsciously) invites rejection, failure, humiliation, and a host of other maladies.
You might call a self-sabotager masochistic. An emotional masochist at best.
It's relatively easy to spot someone else getting in his or her own way but to catch yourself? That's not easy. Why not?
Because we secretly love it. That's why we do it over and over and over....and over again. Granted, it feels like self-sabotage is out of our control - not a conscious choice - but that's just it. We are more than our conscious selves.
This is why we "find ourselves"
" Picking fights when our relationships are going well
" Procrastinating when we could easily get things done
" Inviting exactly the wrong people into our lives
It's a compulsion - an addiction to doing the perfectly wrong thing that will lead to pain.
Caught up in the moment, we justify it.
Just this once.
I'm sure it will be fine.
Whatever it takes to convince ourselves to act self-destructively. If self-sabotage weren't a real thing, so many problems would vanish. Alas, we love to punish ourselves and play the victim.
So does the United States of America. For starters, look at our President. We elected this man. Even Russia with it's Facebook propaganda could not have possibly made up for the monumental gap in votes had American's been even a bit more reasonable; a little less full of self-sabotage.
My theory - precious few people actually give a flying care about their own lives, much less their country. So very few people (and I am not claiming to be one of them) are emotionally mature.
Most of us are so caught up in destroying our own happiness that we can't spare the attention.