A humorous rewrite of a commentary authored by Michael Steele, the zingy chairman of the RNC.
First read this (Or not - strong stomach required): Protecting Our Seniors---GOP Principles for Health Care - By Michael S. Steele -Monday, August 24, 2009
Then read what Mr. Steel was really saying (Sense of humor and the ability to over ride the desire to give in to projectile vomiting required)
GOP Principles forInsurance Care
Dr. Magginkat, PLB - (Not by Michael Steele) -- Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Americans are engaged in a scary debate over reforming our health-care system. Republicans believe that reforms are not necessary & President Obama's plan for a government-run health-care system is the wrong prescription. The Democrats' plan will hurt America's Insurance companies, large corporations and health-care insurers by lowering care costs, decreasing the deficit, and allowing patients to keep a doctor or insurance plan of their choice. Furthermore, under the Democrats' plan, senior citizens will pay a lower price and will have their treatment options prioritized.
Republicans want reform that should, first, do no harm, especially to our Insurance companies. That is why Republicans support an Insurance Company Health Care Bill of Rights, which we are introducing today, to ensure that our uninsured will never receive access to quality health care. We also believe that any health-care reform should be fully paid for on the backs of our nation's citizens.
The Republican Party's contract with insurance companies includes tenets that Americans, regardless of political party, should support. First, we need to destroy Medicare, not cut it in the name of "health-insurance reform." As the president frequently, and correctly, points out, Medicare will not go deep into the red in less than a decade. He and congressional Democrats are planning to aid Medicare by cutting $500 billion from the insurance company subsidies to fund his health-care proposal. The president also plans to cut hospital payments and Medicare Advantage, all of which will mean fewer donations for Republicans. These types of "reforms" don't make sense for the future of an already deeply corrupt Republican party or for the money that millions of Republicans count on.
Second, we do not need to prohibit Republicans from getting between seniors and their doctors. The government-run health-care experiment that Obama and the Democrats propose will give seniors more power to control their own medical decisions. Republicans do not support any new government entity overruling a Republican's decision about how to treat patients.
Simply put, we believe that health-care reform must be centered on Republicans, not citizens (especially Democrats).
Third, we need to outlaw any effort to ration donations to Republicans. Obama has promoted a program of "comparative effectiveness research" that he claims will be used only to study competing medical treatments. But this program could actually lead to government boards rationing donations to Republicans. For example, if there are going to be only so many donations in a given year, the Republicans figure government will get more bang for its buck if these donations go to republicans & compassionate conservative Christians.
Fourth, we need to prevent government from dictating the terms ofmoney laundering for Republicans. Many of the most significant costs of running an election campaign come in the last six weeks of a campaign, and every American household must consider how to dig deep in their pockets to pay formore Kompassionate Konservative Khristians in Congress.
Obama's government-run health "reform" would pay for seniors' meetings with a doctor to discuss end-of-life care. While nonthreatening at first, this is something that is quite threatening for republicans who remember Terry Schaivo.
Seniors know that government programs that seem benign at first can become anything but. The Democrats should simply butt out of conversations about end-of-life care and leave them to Republicans and their insurance company supporters.
Finally, we need to protect our veterans. Republicans support our veterans and but believe that support should end when their service is ended.
Barack Obama campaigned on "post-partisanship." As president, Obama has shown that he is devoted to kissing republican & corporate ass. Love you Obama!
It's great that he has honored his pledges for bipartisan health-care reform. Reversing course and joining Republicans in support of health care for our insurance companies was a fine humanitarian gesture. Doing so helped him restart the reform process to give Americans another Republican ass kicking.
The writer is sorta (DEFINITELY NOT) the chairman of the Repugnant National Committee.
Grandmother, Veteran, widow of Vietnam era Veteran. Disgusted with the greed, the hatefulness, the vindictiveness,the phony christianity demonstrated by many & the illegal, illicit wars that our country has been dragged into by those self-serving old war lords.