OUCH! Seven SHORT humorous poems about presidential wanna-beez McCain, Huckabee, Clinton, Obama, Paul, and dropout Romney.

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Here for your amusement are seven admittedly rough-hewn and scraggy short poems about each of the presidential candidates.

I have links at the end to document some of the hardest-to-believe claims in the poems.

Just so you know, I'm a Ron Paul supporter, so my poem about him reflects that bias.

Permission is granted to reproduce any or all of these, as long as you give me (James W. Harris) credit.

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MCCAIN: A MILLION YEARS OR SO

McCain says he'll get us out of Iraq.

He has announced his plan.

He says it may take a million years or so.

And then, of course, there's Iran.

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MITT ROMNEY

Tied his dog

To the roof of his car

Then drove for hours

Fast and far.

The terrified beast

Peed all over the roof.

Mitt should not be president.

Do you really need more proof?

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WHY MITT ROMNEY?

Mitt Romney

I do not love.

Why'd they name him

After a glove?

I'm sorry, but no,

I cannot trust a man

Whose chosen name is

A garment for the hand.

I would hesitate long before voting

For a candidate named Mr. Shoe.

So I will not vote for Mr. Mitt

And neither, I think, should you.

It would take considerable convincing

To make me vote for Mr. Hat.

Mr. Pants would surely make me pause,

And Mr. Mitt is just like that.

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REV. HUCKABEE

Huckabee, a Baptist preacher he,

Found the Constitution is not a religious tract.

So he wants to amend it, good and hard,

To add the Word of God it now lacks.

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HILLARY CLINTON: SPARE CHANGE

We need a lifetime political operative

So Change can be successfully implemented.

And if that argument makes sense to you

You may be seriously demented.

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BARACK OBAMA, aka SANTA CLAUS

Coca-Cola in every water fountain!

A free car for everyone!

No more wars! And jobs for all!

He's surely got this won.

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THE MYSTERIOUS DOCTOR PAUL

Few seem to understand Ron Paul;

To the media he's a great mystery.

A politician who believes in the Bill of Rights?

In free markets, peace and liberty?

When judging laws and legislation

The Constitution is Ron Paul's test.

So he'd abolish most of the government

And slash away at the rest.

He'd bring the troops home, end the wars;

No income tax, no Fed.

No tax hand-outs to corporations,

And the War on Drugs would be dead.

He promises voters their freedom,

And to obey the law of the land.

No wonder so many politicians and pundits

Simply cannot understand.

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SOURCES:

McCain: Yes, McCain actually said it "would be fine with" him if the U.S. military stayed in Iraq a "million years." http://thinkprogress.org/2008/01/06/mccain-permanent-bases/

Romney and his dog: "Romney's Cruel Canine Vacation," Time magazine:

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1638065,00.html

Huckabee: On January 14, 2008, Huckabee said: " I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view of how we treat each other and how we treat the family."

http://blog.christianitytoday.com/ctliveblog/archives/2008/01/is_the_constitu.html

Barack Obama: The poem exaggerates his massive giveaway promises, but according to the National Taxpayers Union, his proposals would cause a bigger increase in government spending than those of any other candidate -- a whopping $287 billion spending hike.

www.ntu.org

Ron Paul: Yes, he's really as great as he sounds! Learn about him at:

http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

Authors Bio:
JAMES W. HARRIS has published hundreds of articles in publications including THE NATION, REASON, THE FREEMAN and many more. He is editor of THE LIBERATOR ONLINE, the email newsletter of the Advocates for Self-Government, with over 70,000 subscribers. (Subscriptions are free at www.TheAdvocates.org.) He has been a Finalist for the Mencken Award, given by the Free Press Association for "Outstanding Journalism in Support of Liberty." His opinions here are his own.