A moment's fun in the Red/Blue divide.

::::::::

> Dear Red States...
>
> We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
> we're
> taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that
> includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan,
> Illinois and all the Northeast.
>
> We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
> to
> the people of the new country of New California.
>
> To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We
> get
> stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get
> Ken
> Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and
> Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get
> 85
> percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
> Alabama.
>
> We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
> pay
> their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower
> than
> the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
> bunch
> of single moms.
>
> Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war,
> and
> we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you
> need
> people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're
> apparently
> willing to send to their death for no purpose, and they don't care if
> you
> don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish
> you
> success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing
> to
> spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
>
> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
> of the
> country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and
> lettuce, 92
> percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality
> wines
> (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese,
> 90
> percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal,
> all
> living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister
> schools,
> plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
>
> With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
> percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs),
> 92
> percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
> 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
> virtually
> 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
> Clemson and the University of Georgia.
>
> We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
>
> Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
> actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless
> we're discussing the death penalty or laws, 44 percent say that
> evolution is
> only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61
> percent of
> you crazy s believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
>
> By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed
> they
> grow in Mexico

Submitter: Joan Brunwasser

Submitters Website: http://www.opednews.com/author/author79.html

Submitters Bio:

Joan Brunwasser is a co-founder of Citizens for Election Reform (CER) which since 2005 existed for the sole purpose of raising the public awareness of the critical need for election reform. Our goal: to restore fair, accurate, transparent, secure elections where votes are cast in private and counted in public. Because the problems with electronic (computerized) voting systems include a lack of transparency and the ability to accurately check and authenticate the vote cast, these systems can alter election results and therefore are simply antithetical to democratic principles and functioning.



Since the pivotal 2004 Presidential election, Joan has come to see the connection between a broken election system, a dysfunctional, corporate media and a total lack of campaign finance reform. This has led her to enlarge the parameters of her writing to include interviews with whistle-blowers and articulate others who give a view quite different from that presented by the mainstream media. She also turns the spotlight on activists and ordinary folks who are striving to make a difference, to clean up and improve their corner of the world. By focusing on these intrepid individuals, she gives hope and inspiration to those who might otherwise be turned off and alienated. She also interviews people in the arts in all their variations - authors, journalists, filmmakers, actors, playwrights, and artists. Why? The bottom line: without art and inspiration, we lose one of the best parts of ourselves. And we're all in this together. If Joan can keep even one of her fellow citizens going another day, she considers her job well done.


When Joan hit one million page views, OEN Managing Editor, Meryl Ann Butler interviewed her, turning interviewer briefly into interviewee. Read the interview here.

While the news is often quite depressing, Joan nevertheless strives to maintain her mantra: "Grab life now in an exuberant embrace!"


Joan has been Election Integrity Editor for OpEdNews since December, 2005. Her articles also appear at Huffington Post, RepublicMedia.TV and Scoop.co.nz.