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October 27, 2009

Madoff associate had heart attack, drowned. Wall Street exhales.

By Chaz Valenza

Pitch forks, torches and Molotov cocktails are so a Fight Club ago.

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Turns out the death of Jeffry Picower, 67, accused by Madoff victims of making more than $7 billion from the infamous Ponzi scheme, may not have been murder.

Or are authorities holding back on the cause of the heart attack so there will not be a panic on Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard, in Palm Beach, Palm Springs and the Hamptons?

Could it be someone has figured out how to induce heart attacks in Banksters and other Big Greed persona in swimming pools? Could an electric jolt do it?

Think about it Wall Street. Pitch forks, torches and Molotov cocktails are so a Fight Club ago.

Is it possible the hoi polloi are capable of better, quicker, easier, craftier? Well, a lot of really smart people have been screwed by the Big Greed created societal Armageddon.

Could it be the formerly infallible esprit de corps has flagged among the educated and wholesome? Inconceivable!

A more perfect murder? A more learned murderer? A more perfected malcontent? Who could it be? From what ranks would such a person emerge? Ridiculous!

Who perchance? The chemist demoted to bank teller? The engineer who finally found work at Best Buys? The unemployed logistics manager who likes to tinker in the basement? The journalist who got a job as a postal employee? God bless the second amendment! The assembly line worker turned handyman who sucks a cigarette in deep contemplation of his now dark, shabby living room?

How about: The IT engineer who took a job in residential water treatment? The beautiful gal who tends bar at the country club on weekends? But, she always has a smile for everyone you say? How pursed are her lips? Why was it she needed a second job?

What about: The graphics designer your wife hired for the faux finish paint job of your foyer? She claims to enjoy her new found freedom as a small business owner. Oh, dear, you must tell her she missed a spot here and there. Maybe you should just let it go.

Then there's the fellow who maintains the pool? Didn't he mention something about his former career at... what was that multi-national he worked for until he was fifty-five?

Or, do you recall that mortgage underwriter who retrained for a new career building water gardens? And what about that unfortunate former electronics engineer who just installed your home entertainment system?

Who can you trust? How secure is secure? Somebody has to cut the grass. Unclog the pipes. Tutor the children. Clean the bathrooms. Service the HVAC system. I'm just saying.

Those of us that don't have access to you, well, what can we do? We'd never get away with anything, would we? I mean, we might be witnesses, or maybe not. A few of us will serve on juries, but not at your trial. You know you'll never be indicted, much less face a jury of your peers. No, they won't be your peers. It just isn't part of the system.

I mean, what chance do we have to hurt you or those you love? Not much. Next to none I'd say.

No. We could stop investing in stocks, bonds and all those investment thingies we don't understand. But that would be silly of us, right? That would be like not going to Atlantic City or Vegas or Reno or Mount Airy or Foxwoods. Gosh, as you well know we would have had better odds at the casinos! Ha! Man, that's funny. People thinking they were investing. What idiots.

We can yell and scream for financial regulation, but let's face it; it's never going to happen. Monetary reform, fugetaboutit! No, our only option is not to participate. Scary thought, but don't worry it won't happen. At least I doubt it.

Stop banking our money? Well, for that to happen we would have to be more afraid of banking system then we are of the street thug or burglar and we're not there, anywhere near there yet, are we? Could we be?

And credit cards. Well, here's a raw deal. But if we give them up, how will we rent a car or book a flight? So, you can keep ripping us off with those damn things ‘till kingdom come and we'll just ask for more. Twenty, thirty percent interest rates won't scare most of the public away, no, why would it? Well, that might get some people, not everyone, those without jobs, maybe, to consider the B word.

What am I saying? That's just crazy talk. Mass bankruptcies? Don't worry about that. The riffraff has been sold, lock stock and barrel, on optimism. And hope. And faith. And TIJ your honor, TIJ I implore you (trust in Jesus). They'll hang in there. Even if they can't afford a doctor or medicine or a necessary medical treatment. Especially now.

Now that health reform is coming like a freight train.

You smartest guys and gals in the room, and your lucky support staff pulling down hundreds of thousand and millions and tens of millions of dollars a year, well, don't you worry your little heads about blow back.

Hey, you may well live to 67 have all the toys and die of a heart attack in a pool.



Submitters Bio:

Chaz Valenza is writer and small business owner in New Jersey. He earned his MBA from New York University's Stern School of Business. His current feature film project is "Single Point Failure" an insider's account of how the Reagan Administration caused the greatest tragedy of the space age based on Richard C. Cook's book "Challenger Revealed." He is a former Director of Public Information for Planned Parenthood of NYC. His website is: www.WordsWillNever.com

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