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THE ZENING OF DUBYA

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The year is 2015 and the country is in its seventh year of progressive leadership by President Kucinich.  Under his guidance our nation has become less dependent on corporate governance and more respective of the Constitution.   

Wind turbines have replaced oil as the primary source of energy throughout the land, electric sidewalks substituted for autos in urban America and international trade agreements given a new definition which defer to the labor rights of the world. Along with these changes his Department of Peace has earned the respect of nations globally, restoring calm in the Middle East by emphasizing negotiated agreements over cataclysmic militarism.

More important than any of these changes though was Kucinich's decision to persuade a federal judge to include in his sentencing of former President Bush a provision to teach him Zen meditation. Bush, removed from office by the impeachment process in 2008 was subsequently convicted of crimes against the Constitution the following year.  He was sent to a secret offshore federal security lockup specializing in non-violent behavior modification of prisoners to serve a ten year jail term. 

I pick up the story for you in March of 2009 as the disgraced Bush stands before a judge in a federal court room.

FEDERAL JUDGE:  You're here in front of me today having been convicted of crimes against the people by a jury of your peers. Are you repentant of your thievery and nefarious actions against them, Mr. Bush ?

CONVICT BUSH:  This is a kangaroo court and makes a mockery of freedom. You're just a little tyrant carrying out the dictates of the communist liberals who control you. Is this how you treat the Supreme Commander of the United States ?  I demand personal justice at once ! 

FEDERAL JUDGE: One more outburst like that and you'll be escorted from the room by the guards who brought you here today.  Obviously, you're unremorseful and your obstinate remarks lead me to believe you would benefit from exposure to a psychotherapy program.  Therefore, I'm ordering you to serve a ten year sentence with the possibility of early release in 2015 if you chasten your attitudes by incorporating the practice of Zen into your lifestyle.  Do you have anything else to say, Mr. Bush ?

CONVICT BUSH: All broad-minded people are fairies and my Dad will take care of you !  Besides, he'll just buy me a pardon and make sure I'm treated royally during my incarceration. It'll be like living in a country club.  Let the party begin. 

We now fast forward to the Fall of 2014. Inmate Bush has been living the past five years in CELL BLOCK W on the planet Saturn where he was transported after his condemnation. This prison wing was established to house fellow white collar criminals who had dutifully carried out the illegal schemes enacted throughout his Administration. Dubya has just been brought to a holding room for a preliminary evaluation before beginning psychotherapy treatment of his condition.

GUARD: Please proceed to the table in the middle of the room and be seated, Prisoner 666.  A mentor will be in shortly to begin preparing you for your attitude adjustment. 

CONVICT BUSH:  This better not be physically painful.  I demand to have a lawyer present under my Geneva Convention rights !  

COSMIC:  Greetings Earthling, Bush.  I trust your stay on Saturn has been tolerable to a degree so far ? You probably noticed there's less of an emphasis on human desires here. This is deliberate and was  your initial preparation for the type of mental reconditioning I wish to discuss with you today.

CONVICT BUSH:  Please,  help me guard !  I'm trapped in the room with a little green person. He's not white like me and I have a phobia of anyone who's different from myself. I'll write you a check for $1,000 immediately if you call my Daddy and let him know what's going on.

COSMIC:  Wow ... your anxiety level really is elevated, Earthling Bush.  I think you'll benefit immensely from practicing the type of daily introspection I'm about to introduce you to.  Let's get started. 

CONVICT BUSH:  What's it all about  ...  can't I just take a pill, gulp a shot of whiskey or indulge myself  in some pleasure with the opposite sex ? These methods always worked for me in the past.

COSMIC: It states in your psychological profile you're primarly motivated by GREED, ACCUMULATION OF MATERIAL POSSESIONS and SEXUAL DESIRE.  The thoughts your brain produces to achieve these ends leads to your adverse behavior towards other existences around you.  Do we agree, Earthling Bush ?

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