(2.) A debate is now raging in the fundamentalist community as to whether or not to change Armageddon to the "Baptist Big Bang". The proponents of the change argue that the alliteration (look it up, George) is easier to remember for the intellectually challenged brethren, and that Armageddon sounds too much like a cheap whisky hangover.
(3.) There's a rumor afoot that the Bush/Saudi Royal Family wants to pass a law that everyone should genuflect when walking in front of the White House. The Vatican had no comment about this, but a homeless American said he would rather genuflect in front of an out house than the White House, even though their contents were the same.
(4.) George Bush was overheard to say he was annoyed that many people thought the neocon Pope, Leo Strauss, wrote The Blue Danube Waltz, adding that anyone with half a brain knows that he wrote the American Constitution.
(5.) The neocon lobby (not for America!) has strongly denied that neocon stands for: naughty evangelicals open communities of nudity.
(6.) The Bush/Republican administration has issued an appeal to help them remember just who or what it is we're supposed to be chasing. They know he, she, or it has something to do with "owl data" (or something like that), but no one seems to know anything else. They believe he, she, or it did something very bad to America which they did absolutely nothing to stop, and that he, she, or it is somehow related to (and protected by!) the Bush/Saudi Royal Family, but since all the Presidential Cabinets have been on shredding alert for the last several years, they're afraid the name of the person our president absolutely promised we'd catch seven years ago has been shredded. They suspect this person has an expensive tan and isn't a practicing Fundamentalist, but that's about it. The pugs could sure use some help with this.
(7.) Astronomers have recently decoded an intergalactic message that says: Red Alert! The planet Earth has a terminal Middle Yeast infection.
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The Liberation of Realism