Netiquette

1.  PAUSE

If you even think your post - original or response - could be inflammatory, pause before you send it out.  Sometimes the pause might need to be a long one, sometimes short.  Many of us have found it to be a good practice to pass such a post by some trusted friend to get their feedback. It can be useful to pass it by someone not involved in the group post(s) have to do with. It is good to keep the  discussion anonymous - that is, don't use people's names.  Many of us sleep on it, before we send it out or don't send it out.

2.  USE "I" STATEMENTS, NOT "YOU" STATEMENTS. COME FROM YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE

For example, it is better to say," I feel attacked" rather than "You are attacking me."  It can be somewhat easy to make you statements into I statements, e.g."I feel you attacked me"  Try to avoid this pitfall, it is not an I statement.  Making I statements can leave us feeling vulnerable and some people don't like to feel like that. I It is better to talk about what you do, rather than the other person.  Remember how hard it is to change ourselves.  We have a right to say something once, after that it is nagging.  See Trolls, below.
 
3.  IGNORE THE TROLLS

Also can be expressed as, don't get in the soup with someone who is driving you nuts; don't dance with them  - it always takes at least two.  Don't feed the trolls - can be very hard to follow.  Try not to respond to abuse or aggression with more abuse and aggression - this can be very hard.  In the March 2005 issue of Shambhala Sun, Pema Chodron has a wonderful article - "The Courage to Do Nothing".  More insights than the usual articles on this issue.  AA and others say, Don't just do something, sit there.

4.  DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY