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Scientists Getting Signals of Alien Life!

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SPACE GUYS

Scientists Getting Signals of Alien Life On Distant Planet

Scientists Getting Signals of Alien Life On Distant Planet Blythe Space Labs and Clarke Observatory have been working together on a SETI-like space research project on a $22,000,000 grant for less than seven years now and in that relatively short period have made some incredible discoveries. In little over two of those years they had focused on a program, which seeks out new life forms and those, similar to our own wherever they may find them. One warm peaceful night last June, Gary Harking was going through his usual routine of the last seven years, checking fixed electronic and sonar signals when he noticed something a bit different. A series of signals were beaming down in an extremely well organized. Staccato rhythm, which was unlike others he had seen and heard for the last 20 years of his work in this at Clarke or elsewhere with observatories internationally. He was certain that he recognized the rhythm of the signals somewhere, but where he could not recall. They were emanating from a Planet in The Milky Way Galaxy, just over 2000 Light years from the Pelican Nebula. A quick check around the solar system showed him, what at first startled him and later had him blushing and almost too emotional to speak. The rhythm was identical to the panoply of our own Languages! Unfortunately, without an electronic translator, he had no real chance to identify or translate, (if that was even possible) any of the languages. Getting the Electronic Translator was neither an easy, nor quick acquisition. The machine's cost was out of their budget so they had to wait in line for their turn to borrow one from PNASA. However, Gary had a better idea. He would make pinpoint equations, and If PNASA could not come to Blythe/Clarke, Blythe/Clarke would come to PNASA. Gary did his calculations and packed-off himself and two members of his team, made reservations and stood in virtual, line for the Translator. Finally, in early November 2007, an opening appeared and off they went to PNASA. With only a three-week window of opportunity available, they would have to work fast and they did. Less than a month later back at Blythe/Clarke they were doing 15 hour shifts working on their findings. By late February it began to dawn on them that the dreams of all science fiction and UFO fans were about to be fulfilled, they had cracked the language code! They were able to read signals being sent not to them but back and forth to countries on a planet in The Milky Way Galaxy. However, this inhabited planet was not an advanced one, it was one mired back eons before civilization had learned and adhered to common sense, peaceful and economically sensible goals. The words flying back and forth from nations to nation with rapidity of this planet's population were violent, calculating, and aimed at world domination of resources. One thing they were not was intelligent. Gary sent his transcripts to analysts worldwide and the consensus report was as follows: Hostile, belligerent, avaristic, lacking in any sense of ethics. Blasphemous, self-centered and lacking in empathy. They had a penchant for attraction to giving away their rights, rights others had won for posterity, many at the cost of millions of lives. Rather than become any more involved than cattle, their sheep-like lack of moral turpitude, their love of petty things like purchasing and downloading ring-tones for their phones, having sex with any "cool-dude," buying music for their hand players which were constantly attached to their ears, buying things they cannot afford, like no principle mortgages, houses people who make three times their income could not afford and then losing them and killing millions for the right to steal their oil and drive around in gas-guzzling autos. This was unwell and terribly not good, and up until now the antics of this solitary planet in a twelve-planet solar system (only 10 of which they were aware) two thousand Light Years away was of no concern, but recently the peoples of various nations on that solitary planet developed nuclear energy. They were now a threat to the peace of the universe, because a fascist regime has taken control of its most powerful nation with the consent of about 20% of it's population because about 50% of its citizens failed to vote, and about 60% were not well enough informed to know for whom or why to vote-too busy were they watching reality shows, downloading films and music, racing to the mall every day, shopping, Ring Tones, purses, shoes and Hair-pieces. The solution was simple; send a Tachyon-Driven Spaceship from the Pelican Nebula, about 2,000 light years from the planet in question, to its solar system in the Milky Way Galaxy, Solar Nebula and intensely watch the planet up-close. If the Most powerful single nation, now infested with fascism and avarice, attacks more Fuel rich nations to steal their oil, as they have already done with one, two other Powerful nations will attack and the problem will be solved with no action needed from Pelican, because that attack would pretty much end the rule of weaponry and war for thousands of years, because the planet will have bombed itself back into the Stone Age and its Homo sapiens will go the way of the Dinosaur shortly. If not, the ship headed to the Milky Way Galaxy will contain one Gnut/Gort Robot, with near infinite destructive powers. If the people do not impeach the regime now in control, one of two things will occur. Pelican will wait no longer than 90 days, and then sometime in The Planet Earth's (for that is the, rather was the name of the belligerent planet in the Milky Way Galaxy and the Planetary Solar System), in their year of 2008, to see if the Almighty Spirit Takes action such as the sending of firebombing Angels to end the regime of terror in the world. If He does not, then Gnut/Gort will do the honors themselves. They will leave but a handful of open-minded men and women devoid of intolerance, avarice and lacking in any tendency toward preemptive violence. Gary's entire Galaxy had banned, more than 25,000 years ago, the following evils which are the root of all evils: Avarice, Intolerance and envy.

 

Professor Bagnolo has majored in: Cultural Anthropology, Architectural design, painting, creative writing. As a child prodigy, abed with polio for almost two years, he was offered an opportunity to skip three grades at age 8.
Later He was a (more...)
 

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You all better hope that this isn't true. For ... by drasile on Wednesday, May 7, 2008 at 2:48:17 PM
What a fantasmical piece of wit, humor and satire!... by Sandy Sand on Friday, May 2, 2008 at 11:25:24 AM
PUN-ISHMENT that will destroy your neural synapses... by Wolfie on Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 2:25:41 AM
Thanks! Hey how come your type comes up so large a... by Professor Emeritus Peter Bagnolo on Friday, May 2, 2008 at 11:43:25 AM
new translation......"destroy all neoc......s... by richard on Friday, May 2, 2008 at 6:31:38 PM
Rob Kall said the same thing in an Email, Richard.... by Professor Emeritus Peter Bagnolo on Friday, May 2, 2008 at 7:54:55 PM
think alike......??... by richard on Friday, May 2, 2008 at 9:41:43 PM
If so, we need more of them. My favorite pre-1977 ... by Professor Emeritus Peter Bagnolo on Friday, May 2, 2008 at 9:59:02 PM
 ( :... by Sandy Sand on Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 1:11:19 AM
are you aware of the black hole recently discovere... by Jack Harrington on Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 3:21:49 PM
"They're doing wonderful things at mental hospital... by Professor Emeritus Peter Bagnolo on Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 5:14:26 PM
You guys should take your comedy routine out on th... by Sandy Sand on Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 7:13:42 PM