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Life Arts

Thoughts Of A Recovering Drug Addict

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My name is Dan Abshear, and I am a recovering drug addict.

My substance abuse began with alcohol intake, in my early teens. My mother used to insist me and my older teen brother, also a young teenager, party with her, by getting drunk with her.

My mother would give alcohol to us, and my older brother's many young teenage friends, often. This went on for years. My mother, by the way, should have gone to prison for this, as this is contributing to the delinquency of minors, which is a felony. But, thanks to lazy cops and apathetic neighbors, this never happened.

However, I blame myself for my alcohol addiction, and no other. Like many other recovering drug addicts, I have a very addictive personality. That personality contributed to my abuse of substances such as alcohol.

My drinking continued to be heavy until the age of 37 or so. It was then I broke my back, sleigh riding with my daughter. And it was then, a doctor prescribed me Vicodin.

Vicodin is known as an opioid analgesic. Opiates have been abused and used by many, for thousands of years. The effect Vicodin had on me was amazing.

Because, at least in my case, Vicodin not only takes care of physical pain, but emotional pain as well. The drug provided a much wanted and welcomed euphoria in my life.

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For those of you who are familiar with the T.V. show, "House", this is what Dr. House abuses, throughout the show.

So, while on Vicodin, I stopped drinking, and started exercising intensely. I was able to do this, because I was pain-free on Vicodin. In fact, I got in the best shape of my life, while I continuously consumed more and more Vicodin.

But, within two years, I was a full-blown opiate addict. My tolerance increased with that drug, rapidly, so it seemed. I was taking between 10 and 20 high-dose tablets a day, at the height of my addiction to this drug.

And, the euphoria I initially experienced with Vicodin also faded to the point where it was unnoticeable. But, I kept taking Vicodin, because withdrawals were not welcome, when I did not have Vicodin in my system.

So, in the year of 2004 now, and I'm at a doctor convention with work. For many years, I did pharmaceutical sales, for very large pharmaceutical corporations. I'm at work with a younger guy, who noticed the tiredness and boredom of myself, and a couple of others, at this convention. This younger guy had some adderall on him, and offered a tablet to me and a couple of others at this meeting.

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Adderall is basically long-acting amphetamines, used to treat ADD and narcolepsy. I had heard of the drug before, but never chose to take it. But, since I was a Vicodin addict at this point in my life, I thought I would give it a try, and took the Adderall pill at that doctor convention.

The effects of Adderall were amazing. That night, my mind was at maximum efficiency, I felt. I began to write, and I wrote all night. It was as if Adderall awakened these dormant neurons in my brain. I absolutely loved this drug.

It also initially increased my sex drive. While I had a high sex drive already, Adderall initially intensified my orgasms. That combined with what I perceived to be maximum cognitive efficiency, I had found a new drug to love.

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My intrinsic pain has become annotated. Before my life was wrecked about 3 years ago, I was involved in pharmaceutical sales with very large corporations. I did this for about a decade. Before that career, I did patient care for about a (more...)

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Exploring, learning, surviving, and ultimately rem... by Dan Mage on Thursday, Dec 6, 2012 at 9:45:05 PM
Thank you for what you wrote.... by Dan Abshear on Thursday, Dec 6, 2012 at 10:17:47 PM
Good luck living the best life you can ; )... by Don Caldarazzo on Thursday, Dec 6, 2012 at 11:44:39 PM