While the Democrats constantly hum the refrain in the Eagle's song about a fellow who spends his whole life locked up in chains only to discover that he has had the key in his hands all the while, the Tea Baggers are desperately hoping that those folks don't read Edward Gibbon's magnum opus, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire," because if the perpetually stymied Democrats do peruse that example of literature, they might suddenly have a solution to the riddle of how to finance a country's essential services while fighting capricious and strategically unnecessary foreign wars.
When the Democrats eventually suggest not fighting optional wars, the Tea Baggers will quickly defuse (bellicose pun?) that argument by responding: "World Peace will be a "Jobs Killer!'"
Think of all the jobs that Peace would eliminate. Then think of the "Age of Aquarius" and how many jobs that spawned. Aren't "Head shops" illegal in many states? Once folks have listened to the "Hair" album a hundred times, then what?
Recently when we learned that Willie Nelson was starting a new political party called "The Tea Pot Party," we sent the link to the web site to a fellow who knows George Clayton Johnson (of Twilight Zone fame) and asked that the information be forwarded to Mr. "Kick the can." Did that get us any new regular readers? No! Would Hunter S. Thompson endorse Willie's political endeavor?
When we imitate Merle Haggard and make fun of the "hippies out in San Francisco," the column gets twice as many hits; so (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) expect some more columns with more sarcastic references to "drug addled morons."
Speaking of the Hippies out in San Francisco (Hey, stoners, have you heard: It's just like the Jim Morrison song says; the Vietnam war is over!), they are just the kind of people to think that the recent "Kids for Cash" trial in Pennsylvania is proof that the privatization of prisons was a bad idea.
Does the fact that a judge was convicted of doling out excessive jail sentences for minor drug offenses (in return for a "finder's fee"?) provide conclusive proof that privatizing jails was a bad idea?
Speaking of getting children headed in the right direction, on Thursday, August 11, 2011, on his radio program, Mike Malloy had a story about how the corporate farms were providing berry picking jobs for kids. It was Malloy's assertion that a seven year old kid had an entitlement to ten more years of public education rather than an opportunity to live out a "rags to riches" success story that is a basic ingredient of life in this "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" paradise for motivated citizens.
Apparently Malloy hasn't seen "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." He seems to be stuck in the nostalgic sixties with the "kids still respect the college dean" philosophy that superseded the "flower power" image of sticking a daisy down the barrel of an M-1 rifle.
Which would be a better choice for seven year old kids: the lyrics of the Roy Orbison song "Workin' for the Man," that teach berry pickers that if they work hard, then someday they might own the farm, or the lyrics to "Smokin' in the Boys Room"?
The kids in school are blasted out of their minds and mouthing the song segment about seeing a picture of themselves on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. ("Buy five copies for my mother.") Wouldn't it be better for them to be outdoors in the fresh air doing some hard work?
Has moving their headquarters out of San Francisco helped Rolling Stone magazine? The latest issue invites readers to jump to the conclusion that if (subjunctive mood) Rupert Murdoch used extortion to influence politics in Great Britain he might be doing the same thing in the United States of America. When Rolling Stone moved, did they lease some available office space in the Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory Factory?
In his essay, "Faking It," Michael Sorkin wrote: "If any accident produces coherence, all coherence is artificial." Thus if the Republicans can convince voters that their crazy quilt Party isn't the medium but is the actual message, then the Democratic attempt to provide a coherent response will be perceived as artificial and doomed to fail.
When Sorkin referred to wrestling on TV, he stated: "It tightens the link between the representation of reality and the comparable validity of its infinite distortions." Couldn't the same be said of the Republican Party?
Isn't the 2012 Presidential Election going to be a variation of TV wrestling? Won't the Republicans (who always get to frame the issues) present the idea that the Republicans are the clean cut All American hero types doing their best to get the referee (The United States Supreme Court) to notice that the other fellow is cheating? The other fellow is always depicted as a slimy villain flip flopping out of the hero's best move and then using an illegal punch to stun the hero?
Jack Armstong (AKA the all American boy) will be pitted against a villain (oil sheik, Apache warrior, a guy in a German WWI helmet, an illegal alien, or [worst of all?] a Frenchman [can you say "existentialist," boys and girls?]) who will immediately incur the disdain (This train? This stain? Whatever!) of the patriotic red blooded Americans in the audience.