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That Hopey-Changey Thing

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Despite criticism to the contrary, Obama did not campaign on a platform of "Hope and Change." It seems that we heard what we wanted to hear, and stumbled on that little old middle word: "AND." What he actually said was: "Hope FOR change". And, hey, now that we finally got the message, we're really hoping as hard as we can.
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And now hear this: Yesterday I actually got some change after handing my local grocer a fifty dollar bill!
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But, materialists that we are, we do know that "change" comes in forms other than just the filthy lucre, despite the protestations of those ungrateful unemployed who have apparently forgotten how bad things really were in 1935.
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Consistent with the mantra, and to stimulate yet more "Hope for Change," our President decided to continue with the Guantanamo torture facility, the military occupation of Iraq, the slaughter in Afghanistan, the bombings (Hey, pilotless!) of Pakistan, and devastating threats against Iran and North Korea, as well as warnings to Venezuela (which, as you know, has a Commie government and, well, lots of oil).
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He has also displayed admirable bi-partisanship by re-authorizing the Bushco abrogation of our Bill of Rights to protect us from terrorism, has sanctioned the groping of good looking young women and x-raying the pubic details of nuns (Who knows what's under those robes?) who frivolously attempt to board airplanes to visit family in Peoria.
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Why, he has even -- in a display of commendable bi-partisanship -- carried over Bush's own Secretary of Carnage -- oops!-- of, well, Defense, in a seamless endeavor to persist in the War on Terror (Hey, just ask any Afghani mother or widow) to protect you and me for now the tenth year running.
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Why, you may ask, why does Obama endeavor to Bushco us, both internationally and right here in the good ol' U.S. of A? Think, people think! It's only because of his profound consideration for us, liberty and such! If we ever actually got Change, we'd be in dire threat of losing our Hope for Change. And fine president that he is, Obama would never want to deprive the wonderful American People of that!
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And good, patriotic citizens that we are, we will continue to support our president's message. Mind you now, we must not dare to actually DO anything to force the Change, because that would seriously impair, that is to detract from the Hope part. Got it? Any actual improvement diminishes Hope!
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Our president can no doubt depend upon us to support the troops in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, Venezuela, and troop-lessly in Pakistan or wherever else terrorism or oil surfaces.
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"Moving forward" (as per the current polit-speak) we will persevere in supporting our troops, never threaten any action that would impair Hope for Change, not in sparing our wives, daughters and nuns from the patriotic groping of TSA thugs, and certainly not in backing off the War on Terrorism anyplace in the world or in Hometown, USA.
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Our presidents of either party -- regardless of their actions -- have across the past ten years learned that they can rely upon our support. And it's a good bet that they can expect the same for the next ten, or whatever, all the while buttressed by the certitude that God is on our side!
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And consistent with our current president's ideals, we will in all probability persevere to Hope for Change, regardless of whatever crassly partisan criticism and wishy-washy Liberal nonsense such as morality and the inevitable judgment of history.

 

Leaving behind a treacherous government now addicted to perpetual war, its limitlessly greedy and power-lusting masters, as well as the retarded albeit smirky Republicans and their evermore clonish Democrat colleagues, a braindead electorate (more...)
 
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