Share on Google Plus Share on Twitter Share on Facebook 2 Share on LinkedIn Share on PInterest Share on Fark! Share on Reddit 1 Share on StumbleUpon Tell A Friend 1 (4 Shares)  
Printer Friendly Page Save As Favorite View Favorites View Stats   9 comments

Exclusive to OpEdNews:
OpEdNews Op Eds

Texas 'Ugly:' President Perry's Real Fringe Manifesto

By (about the author)     Permalink       (Page 1 of 2 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; (more...) ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags  (less...) Add to My Group(s)

Valuable 4   Well Said 3   Funny 3  
View Ratings | Rate It Headlined to H2 9/28/11

Become a Fan
  (26 fans)
- Advertisement -

Am I Great Rudder or Not? by Newsweek


If his stumbling, not ready-for-prime-time worsens, Rick "Treat 'Em Ugly" Perry will soon be cornered and dangerous.  That's when flinty hardscrabble guys squint, then draw, pumping out enough audacity of rogue to win GOP primaries.  No more Mr. Smiley Nice Guy conservative, clinging to compassionate shreds -- like educating immigrant kids, immunizing girls, pooh-poohing secession  -- or not throwing in derringers with school lunches.  Hey, don't 6th graders have drug, crime, bullying, fashion, and pocket money issues dying for resolution? 

The power right anoints Perry the most "electable" fringe purist -- so step aside, little crazy lady from Minnesota.  This strutting Texas Twister is the spunkiest hired gun to depose any weakling, city-slicker president.  Perry ain't running for "debater-in-chief," as he says, but commander-in-chief, able to deliver a Texas-sized, "deep, deep rudder" of leadership.  Is he talking pilot-in-chief? -- an unfortunate metaphor as he founders, with rudderless debates, swamped by this field of GOP giants.  

Even movie-star handsome from a big state can't survive weird pot shots guaranteed to unhinge old folks -- like declaring Social Security not just unconstitutional and a "monstrous lie" but a criminal "Ponzi scheme."  Understatement don't march through this cowboy's resume.  Now grandma, having dodged Obama death panels, must reimburse the fed for years of illegal payments (already paid for).  Doesn't knowingly being in receipts from a "criminal, Ponzi scheme" join you to the sham, an accessory after the fact, even a co-conspirator.  Even that sharpie, Sarah Palin, never threatened death panels to Social Security and Medicare.  Yowwee. 

A Crusading Catechism

- Advertisement -

On the other hand, admire Perry's gall, dragging total non-issues to center stage -- then defending pigheadedness with vengeance.  Real character.  One small point, Governor.  In our system, no individual -- be they president or bank CEO -- settles constitutionality.  Did this Texas cracker forget courts only decide questions that legitimate parties bring to judgment?  Know of one court challenge to Social Security, nor any noted legal scholars calling it a crime?  Hell, Perry barely got through Ag school, so what legal creds let him fantasize some Supreme Court would take the case, let alone agree with his insupportable stance?  Oh yeah, Perry's totally transparent "Ponzi scheme" is more solvent than Congress-controlled, burgeoning federal debt.  To call this great idea "a monstrous lie" is to commit a monstrous lie.

If all American business enterprise were criminalized because later money replaced earlier, capitalism would crawl up and die. In fact, by this bizarre Perry standard, all of life would be a mock "Ponzi Scheme" -- every personal loan, every mortgage, every insurance plan, indeed, every promissory note or contract, calculated in what's called money, to be repaid later.

But Perry's propaganda is hardly intended to change laws.  Decoy issues are smoke-screens for a far more radical agenda to shred federalism, if not the 20th C.  What President Perry would deliver goes well beyond "fixing" a program or two.  The core fringe mania is "taking back the country," per a Perry-Manifesto conspicuous from rightwing ravings. As a public service, I here collate ten, nearly Biblical commandments for a born-again country.  Were God to move in such mysterious ways, President Perry's first inauguration speech will teem with excess.  You heard it here first.

The Real Perry Manifesto

Mandate #1
-- Let us declare our Founders endorsed only small, minimalist government, limited to taxation, currency, repayment of loans and border defense against enemies (armed invaders, immigrants, revolutionaries, deviants, etc.).  Thus, every welfare or social notion since the New Deal is unconstitutional and unAmerican, namely: Medicare, Social Security, Dept. of Education, EPA, all civil rights laws, funding for science, pandemic diseases, global warming, evolution, PBS, NPR, etc.

Mandate #2 -- Because God destined this a Christian nation (with evangelical rule), we should rededicate a true America to be a Dominionist stronghold answerable to a literalist reading of the Holy Bible, as interpreted by born-again preachers and heads of believers' colleges.  Elections are fine when the elect govern.

Mandate #3 -- Abortion shall not only be banned but advocates imprisoned for committing "sins against GodÕs law." Abortion doctors should be indicted for murder, liable to capital punishment.  Women committing abortion shall be fined heavily; or, if poor, be open to impregnation by approved Christians to offset the killing of the unborn.   

Mandate #4 -- Sexuality outside of marriage will be punished by jail or, if teens and gays, humiliation in public stocks.  Pregnancy outside of marriage shall be illegal, but no child will be aborted, without exception.  Since "gay rights" is an oxymoron, no one can be gay and have any rights.  Just like old times, homosexuality will be sinful, illegal and a mental condition.

Mandate #5 -- The Pentagon will be granted direct taxing ability, plus the right to draft heterosexual males, whenever and wherever.  For warrior males over 50, crippled or beyond military service, Pentagon-run camps will establish gung ho patriotism weekends.

Mandate #6   -- Gun ownership will be universal for men, optional for women.  No school or location limitations, though counties may restrict minority access.  Any white male over 18 not carrying a gun can't vote, drink, own property or carouse in public.

Mandate #7   -- The old-time religion will become the cultural norm, excepting racial slavery.  Adult males will head households, women will take orders, and children only speak when spoken to.  County government will track Sunday school, tithing, and church services, henceforth signs of the patriotic elect known as "true Americans."

Next Page  1  |  2


Educated at Rutgers College (BA) and UC Berkeley (Ph.D, English) Becker left university teaching (Northwestern, U. Chicago) for business, founding and heading SOTA Industries, high end audio company from '80 to '92. From '92-02 he did marketing (more...)

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

Go To Commenting

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact Author Contact Editor View Authors' Articles
- Advertisement -

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

Summer in the GOP Asylum: "Who are these guys?"

Trickle-down Gulf Wreck-onomics

"Apocalypse Now' Vogue Engulfs Chicken Littles

Moses Kaput -- Rightwing Ten Commandments To Serve Looming Theocracy

"God Particle' Refudiates the Religious Right

Deadline Looms To Fund Critical Ocean Plastic-Trash Film


The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.

This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.

Comments: Expand   Shrink   Hide  
6 people are discussing this page, with 9 comments
To view all comments:
Expand Comments
(Or you can set your preferences to show all comments, always)

Did you puzzle over Perry's longwinded attacks on ... by Robert S. Becker on Wednesday, Sep 28, 2011 at 10:48:30 AM
could also be another way he panders to Wall Stree... by larry payne on Thursday, Sep 29, 2011 at 6:51:24 AM
It is long been a conservative business goal not s... by Robert S. Becker on Thursday, Sep 29, 2011 at 11:50:02 AM
I ran across a copy of The Tea Party Platform toda... by tim mcghie on Wednesday, Sep 28, 2011 at 5:22:42 PM
Click Here for link to the interview. http://www.n... by Marcus Chatfield on Wednesday, Sep 28, 2011 at 7:31:32 PM
Again, this guy is Sarah Palin in pants. Serious t... by jtenn on Wednesday, Sep 28, 2011 at 10:45:48 PM
I've been exposed close-up to Perry's governing st... by larry payne on Thursday, Sep 29, 2011 at 7:23:10 AM
but what I've read so far makes me believe that I ... by John Shriver on Thursday, Sep 29, 2011 at 9:15:57 AM
so maybe it wasn't himself who thrust him into the... by larry payne on Thursday, Sep 29, 2011 at 9:32:33 AM