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POGANKI

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Poganki (Rus)- small, poisonous mushrooms which usually grow after the fire or in the damp places. No one eats them

Call it a sad humor

They say that Russian humor is always laughter through tears. I would agree. But fairly recently I have discovered this trend in a such bastion of sarcasm and irony as British humor. In one British book the author described the face of GHW Bush on TV when he was announcing the Gulf War as "the most horrible face I have ever seen.' And I thought that maybe the author was right- I took a look at the GHW now and he looks like a nightmare. That prompted me to look more closely at the faces and I was amazed at the ugliness and repulsiveness of a lot of people in the swampy places of Power, Media and Money nowadays. It is not the actual fact that bothers me but rather the concentration of them, the %, so to speak, the actual shining of those whom Hemingway called "The people with the dignity of the hard chancre'- Poganki. So I hereby would like to line some of them up so that if you step on them in the woods or in the life you will know who they are and be prepared.

Swamp of Power

If GHW had a horrible face, his illustrious son GW has a face of a mischievous chimp. You can see those in the Zoo- the little ones who steal bananas behind the alpha-male's back. Karl Rove, his beloved lieutenant looks like a bleak copy of the Baby- Face Nelson, the one which surely cannot shoot in the face but will betray you at the first opportunity. Condi Rice, that unfortunate circumstance, always looked like a person who spent all her time hiding her stupidity but it shined anyway. Mr. Rumsfeld, our civilian warrior looked like a Russian Politburo junior member who shuffles papers and dreams to send armies whenever. Mike Chertoff looked like a Devil reincarnate. Dick Cheney looked and still looks like a live illustration in the Medieval book on how to find out and get rid of vampires. He is so typical that I would recommend to put him into the Twilight movie series without a disguise. Dana Perino, that Bush's mouth looks like a Stepford wife. All our mighty generals look very much alike and together they have a strange image as if they all had lost their pants and try not to notice that. Richard Holbrook, that Serbiakiller looks like had swallowed too much dirt and it became him. Both Bush appointees to the Supreme Court- Alito and Roberts look like who they really are- the absolute Nothings. Both those folks are so unqualified that it shows. They never tried even one criminal trial, never really defended a person, never" whatever. Judge Kagan, the horrible pantsuit of whose only emphasizes how a woman can make herself ugly if she has no style whatsoever- she certainly follows the same tradition- no skill, no real work- an ideal candidate for the Supreme Court.

Our current folks in charge are not much better. Someone should tell our President that although he is a handsome man, he is bad in lying. Whenever he lies he forces himself to smile and that smile then looks as if a Rubbermaid trashcan smiles at you. He better should stay serious. Also someone should tell Obama that short sentences only in Present Indefinite will not earn him supporters among the "Middle America' but certainly reveal his rather limited intellect. Or the limited intellect of his speechwriters. Would the social service in the WH please tell Michelle than when she puts on one those Medieval dresses of hers she looks like a discarded Barbie model.

Hillary Clinton looks like she needs to find a proper look. Not much fun. Her husband- I still cannot understand why people call him the smartest person in the DemParty and pay him six figures per speech; that guy cannot say even a simple sentence and he certainly looks like one of those living vegetables I have read about in the old kid's book; Prince Lemon or something. Robert Gibbs looks like a talking watermelon painted white. Timothy Geithner looks as if he is caught in the act of getting into your pocket; his eyes are sideways all the time. Mr. Axelrod, that guru of our President looks exactly like the infamous Mr. Wolfowitz and that would mean that he aims at the same future location- close to the money. Mr. Emanuel looks and behaves as if he is a foreigner who learned all the games here and now can play better than everyone. I expect him to sing a song "Everything you can do I can do better'- every time he talks with the Republican counterparts. I wonder what the ghost of Lincoln thinks about this entity roaming the WH.

Our Congress is full of unfortunate characters. Madame Pelosi does well to cover her pointy ears. This ears' problem is rather common among our congress people and the smartest of them wear the earrings. Men though cannot do that and we can see the ugly ears of Harry Reid, Barney Frank and John Boehner at every C-Span broadcast. I thought I would never see a person uglier than Tom DeLay but I got mistaken. Representative Michelle Bachmann keeps the record. Try to turn off the sound when she talks and just watch her behavior. I guarantee that in 5 minutes you will call an Ambulance. Now turn on the sound; if you do not die from a stroke you are omnipotent. Senator McConnell looks like he just stepped off the Mark Twain's pages- one of those Kentucky slave-owners from the 19th Century. Not from HB Stowe's pages though. Representative Cantor looks like a Fabio picture gone nuts. He would be good in a different outfit. The new GOP star, senator Brown from MA looks like he never had bigger problem in his life than to decide between beef or chicken in Taco Jones'. There is a whole cohort of strange women in Congress like Diane Feinstein, Jane Harman, Rep. Smith and some others who, if on my watch, should be carefully examined on the issue of permanent insanity. But they were elected, you know. So were former senators Santorum and Coleman; both looked and acted like zombies but that really contributed to their success.

Foreigners in power are no better. Russian Prime Minister Vlad Putin looks like an evil dwarf from the Gofmanian horror fairytales. Or maybe like a Leperchaun. Russian President Medvedev looks like one of those shell- bodies in the movie Men in Black- you always expect him to collapse and something to crawl out of him.

Our British ally, Mr. Cameron looks like a never- grown-up perpetual infant. That malady is very much distributed among the English power people. Prince Charles looks so natural in his skirt that it becomes him. I wonder what can a man think after all his life spent waiting in the waiting room. Queen Elizabeth, that personification of "doing nothing for the sake of the duty' really identifies the whole trend of the British Corridors of Power.

If tall General DeGaulle could see who now occupies the President's Palace in Paris he would go into self-exile to Ireland as he intended once. Mr. Sarkozy can remind people about the Napoleon Le Petit ( Napoleon the Small) but only in a matter of height. Otherwise he is such a follower of the US that he seems to forget even the French language. Onward, the crusader against the hejab; your destiny awaits you in the Washington Mall.

German Chancellor, Madame Merkel really fits the profile of Winter Fairytale. She is winter all right. Together with our Bavarian Pope they look like a tandem of the 19th- century rulers- limited, bleak and forever medieval. Sentimentality, of course; our Pope always looks as if he is going to burst into tears and Angela looks like one of those sweet angels painted on the walls of the German churches by one of many totally untalented painters. That way they are close to God.

Folks, they had a G-20 summit recently. Pull out the photo of them all. Look at that ugly bunch. Those are the people who rule you.

Not that the East is luckier. Mahmud Ahmadinejad looks like a person who is afraid to open his eyes.

Media and Punditry Swamp

Sarah Palin, our new celebrity looks really like a character from the movie Surrogates. You certainly expect her to suddenly freeze every time the puppet master relaxes or just takes a break for a cup of coffee. Newt Gingrich, that intellectual leader apparently forgot about "eye of newt and tongue of dog' being a part of the Witches' Brew in Shakespeare's Macbeth. But we remember at it fits him like a glove. Pat Buchanan looks like an old alligator who suddenly discovered that he had actually to work for living. Bill Kristol- whenever he appears you are always afraid that his head will fall off his shoulders and starts rolling around shouting the same nonsense forever. Rush Limbaugh looks like a fugu blowfish- you know, the huge one, very visible, with deadly poison in it to whoever touches. Sharron Angle looks like she needs help- ALL help she can get. Ann Colteur" she looks like no help can save her. Charles Krauthammer- whenever this guy appears he reminds me of the Mafia Commission meeting in the Godfather III. I am not even mentioning what he says- he competes with Bachmann. Bill O' Reilly should better talk without opening his mouth; the man resembles the Picture of Dorian Grey at the end of the story; he has the reflection of all the sins on his face but it is especially tough when he speaks. It is unbearable. Tom Friedman, our fluffy cat in the media should watch the claws- they come out once in a while and his effort to look nice does not pay. Joe Scarboro, the cushy congressman, now a do-nothing pundit should try not to mention any historical precedents in his talking because he doesn't know anything. That lady Mica is an ideal co-host for him; she really says nothing most of the time, just tries to look good and he should follow her.

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The writer is 57 years old, semi- retired engineer, PhD, PE, CEM. I write fiction on a regular basis and I am also 10 years on OEN.


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and maybe that Mark Sashine should be chief writer... by Margaret Bassett on Friday, Aug 13, 2010 at 12:01:28 PM
Mark...This is beautiful. In meaning, in humor, in... by mikel paul on Friday, Aug 13, 2010 at 3:05:30 PM