I haven't watched a TV sitcom in the last five years. RSS feeds from blogs and news services constantly decorate my home page with more inanity than all the networks could come up with. But there are times when I suffer from a kind of "insanity overload." And the last several weeks made it seem as if we were living on the front pages of the old Weekly World News :
- According to World Net Daily , Gay parents are going to abort their straight babies
- Michele Bachmann insists that America was founded by people from all over the world and Thomas Jefferson plagiarized the Declaration of Independence from the Mayflower Pilgrims.
- Rick Joyner reports from a portal to heaven that the foundation of America is on fire.
- Wiley "Imprecatory Prayers" Drake wants to be President of the Southern Baptist Convention
- Jared Laughner pleads "Not Guilty." Who knew?
- Michele Bachmann pre-records a "rebuttal" to Obama's State of the Union speech even though she doesn't know what he's going to say.
- Some evangelists can't wait for the End Times - Definitely Happening on May 21st
- And Cindy Jacobs still insists that God speaks through her when she says "gliddy glop gloopy nibby nobby nooby le-le lo-lo-lo"
"Insanity
overload" leads to a kind of bizarre form of writers' block: it freezes
the brain, like cryoablation, before attempting to remove any sense of
reality. Fortunately, IO doesn't last very long because one's reason
usually takes all of the really stupid and insane things that have
happened and organizes them into IO files safely in the back of the
brain, to be used at a later time when dealing with the idiots who
created the IO in the first place.
I
know this last sounded smug, but have pity, please. I'm dealing with
the likes of Cindy Jacobs, Rick Joyner and Michele Bachmann and other
assorted, ah... people (he says, discreetly).
So in the last weeks we had:
DADT CAUSED BIRDS TO FALL FROM THE SKIES
Cindy
Jacobs declaring that the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell is (probably)
the reason why we had dead birds falling from the sky in Arkansas. She
did it in that inevitable Cindy Jacobs way, peppering her speech with
unintelligable words just to point out that she is better than the
Oracle of Delphi (who didn't know what she was talking about either).
And speaking of people who don't know what they're talking about, The Huffington Post Reports:
BACHMANN TO GIVE HER OWN STATE OF THE UNION REBUTTAL
The
Minnesota Republican's office confirmed to The Huffington Post that she
[Michele Bachmann] intends to broadcast a prerecorded message through
the Tea Party Express website once Obama is done speaking.
A pre-recorded "rebuttal." Is there an oxymoron somewhere in that? Anyway, to ponder that sublime piece of idiocy can turn one's brain green.
RICK JOYNER SEES THE END OF AMERICA - LITERALLY
Pastor
Rick Joyner of Leading Way Ministries chimed in with his worldview on a
Christian news station that he journeyed to Moravian Falls, NC where,
as everyone knows, there is an actual portal to Heaven, then had a
dream where he was shown the destruction of America. Remember, this is
the same man who was taken up to heaven, had discussions with saints
(whom he couldn't name) and saw William Branham (the man who preached
the total subjugation of women through a doctrine called the "demon
seed") sitting in the highest throne in heaven. He also said some of
the saints were placed in weird positions. Joyner is also a major
investor in Heritage U.S.A. where you may still be baptized while
whizzing down a water slide.
SBC IN TOTAL CHAOS
During the last week, we saw the Southern Baptist Convention, like alligators, eat their own: former president, Richard Land, was forced to resign from the Anti-Defamation League's Interfaith Coalition on Mosques because he stated that Muslims had a right to build mosques in this country and therefore "promoted Islam." Then we had Wiley Drake consider a run for Land's old job even though the Southern Baptist Convention practically disowned him for calling for prayers to end the lives of Obama and members of Congress:
In my opinion we have left our traditional BIBLICAL positions, and become a large group being led by a small group of leaders who are out of touch with what the average Southern Baptist desires for our ministry under the leadership of The Holy Ghost.
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