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And it would
certainly save the rest of us from the "We're-So-Persecuted" bunch.
Texas Christianland by Google Images w/caption by Rev Dan
Over 50,000 people
have signed petitions to secede from the Union. Good. Great! FANTASTIC! Just
think of what the United States wouldn't be burdened with any longer: Hell
Houses. And no more Patriot Movement, no gay teen suicides, no more misogyny,
no more Islamophobia.
Neither would there be any SPLC or ACLU, since they wouldn't be
necessary. And no more Newt Gingrichs,
Karl Roves, Mike Huckabees,
Bryan Fischers,
Tony Perkinses,
Michele Bachmanns,
Ann Coultergeists,
Michele Malkins or Franklin Grahams.
And no more Glen Becks.
Instead, there would be absolute "from" freedoms: from religion, from proselytizing, from intolerance, from righteous arrogance, from bigotry, from misogyny, and from all the social phobias. And "to" freedoms: to marry and to say "Happy Holidays". Why, America could get to work at being a truly wonderful nation dedicated to love and peace.
Hey, we can dream, can't we?
The recent spate of petitions and buzz about secession can be clearly seen in this interactive geopolitical map. And it's not surprising as to where most of it is concentrated: Texas The state that has always had elephantiasis of the ego is the state that has toyed with the idea of secession for over a hundred years. It is the epitome of Barack Obama's "guns and Bibles" set, a place where Gary Cass ("You can't be a Christian and don't own a gun.") would feel more than safe and comfortable. It is a place that cheers it's record of executions. It is a place where megachurches and Fundamentalist theology rule, largely through a governor who calls together strictly Christian prayer rallies.
Ten days ago, opining on the differences of the electorate (Obama being demonspawn, of course), Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association suggested that a wall be built between socially conservative (Christian Right) America and the rest of country. He also suggested that people would be digging tunnels under the wall trying to get to "our" side, being, of course, more prosperous - and righteous.
Right.
What Would Christianland Look Like?
If Texas and its far Right minions seceded from the United States of America, it would, of course, be the dream of David Barton: it would be a "Christian ONLY Nation." The term "Christian" would have difficulty in definition and there would be in-fighting among people like Catholic bishops, John (Rome is the prostitute of Babylon") Hagee , and Cindy Jacobs (who goes around smashing statues of Catholic saints). Pat Robertson, who said that he didn't have to be nice to Methodists and Episcopalians ("spirit of the Anti-Christ") might have difficulty living amid non-charismatics, but once the unsavory elements of "True Christianity" have been rooted out, the country might have these demographics and pertinent data:
Ethnicity: 90%
White, 8% African-American, 2% Hispanic (well, it does live right next to
Mexico)
Christian
Denomination: 60% Southern Baptist, 10% Assemblies of God, 10% Pentecostal, 5%
Roman Catholic, 15% Non-denominational Bible-Thumper.
Population: 15
million plus the entire Dugger family.
State Bird:
Raptor-hawk
State Motto:
"In R.J. Rushdooney *
We Trust"
