A few questions for secessionists

(Article changed on November 16, 2012 at 22:45)

(Article changed on November 16, 2012 at 22:02)

(Article changed on November 16, 2012 at 22:01)

This article was originally published by the Madison Independent Examiner. The slideshow referenced is available for viewing there.

Credit: Image coutesy of bartcop.com, Vol. 2972.

There are people in every state in the U.S. that have submitted petitions to ask permission for their state to secede from the United States of America. The petitions specifically mention injustices suffered under the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) and National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA).

As of today, there are 830,618 signatures on these petitions. Petitions in Alabama, Florida, Louisiana, North Carolina and Texas have surpassed the 25,000 signature threshold required in order to elicit an official response from the White House.

The U.S. population in 2012 is roughly 312.8 million people. So the signatories amount to roughly 0.27 percent of the U.S. population, yet these people want entire states to secede from the United States.

So, to anyone that wants their state to secede from the union:

I have a few questions for secessionists. If you 0.27 percenters don't like the way the rest of your fellow Americans voted, then why not just leave? Anyone with a functional brain, who understands politics, knows that the chances of secession being granted to any state are about the same as you being abducted by aliens, dropped in a Bigfoot encampment, and being served gluten-free pizza there.

Most of the petitions ask for permission to "peacefully grant to withdraw." Why are you begging for permission like little kids? Why not get up and leave and show the world how you feel? Stick to your principles. Move away and take FOX News, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and the Palin family with you. If you do, America's average IQ will probably go up 40 points.

I'm sure you can find another country where less than one percent of the population can dictate policy to the other 99.7+ percent. There are countries that mix religion and politics, persecute homosexuals, do not give women equal rights, do not tax the ultra-rich, and do not hold free elections. They may make a good fit for you. Try Iran or Saudi Arabia first and if that doesn't work for you, I'm sure there are several other third world dictatorships that'd be happy to have you.

Don't even think about Australia, though, because they have single payer universal health care, strict gun laws, compulsory voting, no death penalty, pro choice when it comes to contraception, openly gay politicians and judges, an unmarried atheist as a Prime Minister, and evolution is taught in all schools.

And I wouldn't recommend Canada either, because you probably already know how horrible their "socialist" health care system is from listening to Fox news. In fact, most of "socialized" Europe wouldn't be recommended, because citizens and businesses in many European countries pay higher taxes than Americans so they can have things like universal health care, a public transportation system that makes America's look like a third world country's, dams and levee systems that actually do protect them from flooding and businesses that are regulated and required to allow 30-35 hour work weeks and up to 6 weeks of paid vacation for all employees. You'd hate all the "socialists" there.

Listen crybabies, half of the voters in this nation had to put up with stolen elections in 2000 and 2004 and a President that they didn't like. You didn't see any petitions to secede then, did you? You didn't see the other half of the electorate crying to secede and signing online petitions when Bush created the TSA and rammed the PATRIOT Act down our throats. Where were your petitions while the Bush administration created these agencies, passed legislation like this, started unnecessary wars, let Wall Street run amok, and bankrupted our country?

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