Message to White House co-pilot: Eject now by Garrison Keillor

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At www.chicagotribune.com

If Mr. Bush wanted to reverse his slide, he could do it with a phone call to his vice president. Tell him, 'Hey, Gunner, I'm sending over your resignation. Sign it and leave the building immediately, and don't take any floppies with you.' Mr. Cheney would have a grand mal seizure right there, and be taken away to a sanitarium, and then Mr. Bush could get (1) Newt Gingrich, (2) John McCain, (3) Jeb Bush, (4) Rudolph Giuliani--take his pick. America needs a No. 2 who wouldn't give Americans a coronary if he became No. 1. The top story on the news that night is 'Gunner dumped as veep,' and a fresh breeze blows through Washington, and the American people perk up and imagine that the Current Occupant is in charge and able to connect the dots.

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