--Pat Robertson
"Muslims want to rule the world. They want to take over the whole world. That's their evil purpose ...
Most of them are very harsh. There's no tenderness or love."
[Where do you get your information about the war?]
"The Bible and the 700 Club. I also listen to preachers who know what's going on. Pat Robertson."
--Mary Fowler, 54, Oklahoma Housekeeper, excerpted from Rose Aguila's "Stories in America http://storiesinamerica.blogspot.com/2005/08/conversations-at-gas-pump.html
Listen up, Reverend Robertson, Mary Fowler -- every last one of you Apostles of Perpetual Psychosis -- it's time that you were called out.
The time is long past due the rest of us ceased our cowering and stood up to you Christo-fascists bullies.
The hour has come round that we look you straight in your bulging, true believer eyes, and told you that we've had it with your smugness, with your blood-drenched crusades, with your victim mentality -- and with the madness begot by this cracked-brain belief system of yours, which all began (according to your sacred delusions) more than two thousand years ago, when, at the behest of a wicked cabal, a mob of mammon-worshipping, blood-lusting rabble went on a cosmic killing-spree and murdered your god.
First off, let's get one thing straight: No one ever killed anyone's god (not Jews, nor Romans, nor Geeks playing Dungeons and Dragons) -- Although it's time somebody nailed you, you collection of conflated failures at Christian martyrdom, to a metaphysical cross of reality.
It's high time someone told you outright that you must be suffering from holy water on the brain, if you think we can't see you for what you are: a klavern of counterfeit prophets waxing psychotic for other cretinous hypocrites. Also, you can cease playing the persecuted party, whenever someone stands up to you -- because we're no longer buying that ploy. Remember, you're the ones who threw the first, epitaphic stones.
It was you who labeled us a mob of Hell-bound, Satan-pimping sodomist ... Although -- as much fun as that sounds -- I must ask you, where do you get the unmitigated gall to make such insane claims? When did the golden light of the sun abandon its position in the eastern horizon and begin rising, each morning, from out of your silly, neo-Iron Age asses?
And tell me this, you medievalist simps, you delusional, retrograde dip-shits -- how is it possible that you became privy to such timeless truths -- that the mind of the "One True God" is available to you, and that God's words and wishes resonate through yawning millennia to be understood only by you -- and you alone?
Looking back on the rise of you Christo-fascist bastards, I'm mortified as to how it came to be socially and politically acceptable for you to bandy such vicious and demented assertions in the public arena, without them meeting with the derision they deserve ... And don't bother going into one of your pat victim-swoons over being called on it, because when you go so far as to claim that you alone have been bestowed with the secrets of boundless creation
-- and that anyone who chooses not to buy into your version of events will be condemned to the torments of eternal damnation -- then you can bet your fatuous asses that your asinine assertions will be ridiculed.
What in the blue blazes did you expect, for us simply to fall to our collective knees before you?
Yet, I fear that's exactly what you expect from us.
Could I suggest an alternative idea? Would you simply let the rest of us be? Would it be possible for you to keep your life-defying delusions to yourself -- keep them within the airless confines of your bigotry-riddled churches and the cramped quarters of your own minds?
If that's the way you choose to spend the passing hours of this finite life, it's fine by me. But when you start your habitual proselytizing, then you should be prepared to be told that a great many of us think your cosmological conceptions are a steaming pile of behemoth dung.
And, while we're on the subject, for the longest time, I've been wanting to tell you this: If Jesus died for my pathetic sins -- then he flat-out overreacted.
What makes this situation all the more unsettling is you believe these creepy, death-enamored myths are literally true. Instead, I suggest you try the
following: Rather than attempting to commune with Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Holy Ghost (or Casper the Friendly Ghost) or the Lucky Charms Leprechaun -- why don't you attempt to channel the departed spirits of Voltaire or H.L. Mencken? There will be no otherworldly conjuring (or con jobs) required to perform this miracle: simply go to the public library and check out their books.
Once there, you might want to stop by the science section, as well, where you could happen upon a few delusion-decimating tidbits such as the following:
While your bible tells you that the earth is a shade over seven thousand years old, the actual figure is
(approximately) 4.6 billion years. How do you account for the slight discrepancy of say ... 4,599,993,000 years? And that number is derived when calculated against the approximated age of the earth -- not that of the universe, which is estimated to be between ten to twenty billion years old. You can do the math on that one, all you reality-challenged Children of the Lord.
And those aren't the only things in your bible that just don't add up. In your Book of Joshua (10:13) it is stated that God commanded the sun to stand still in the sky ... Really now? Pardon me ... but how is it possible that this omniscient god of yours, who you believe created the earth and heavens, all by his divine lonesome, didn't realize the simple fact that the sun doesn't revolve around the earth?
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