The holiday season is the best time of the year for TSA agents to steal electronics out of your luggage. And it's not uncommon: TSA employees have been caught over and over again, stealing electronics and selling them on eBay.
One TSA employee admitted to stealing $800,000 worth of merchandise out of travelers' luggage. He described the TSA as "a culture of criminality."
Another TSA agent who stole $40,000 worth of items out of passenger luggage was sentenced to only five months in jail. The TSA will probably make him the department head when he gets out of prison, as the TSA actively seeks to hire and promote the most wicked criminal minds possible, including pedophiles.
So to celebrate TSA thieves, crooks, pedophiles, sexual molesters and perverts -- all of whom drool over the possibility of feeling your genitals and then swiping valuables out of your luggage -- I've penned this little holiday poem called "TSA Santa." Enjoy and share!
'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
...
When along came a thudAnd a sick-sounding "ooof!"
Like some huge man-shaped blob
Just got dropped on the roof
...
He scrambled and cursed
As he fumbled his way
To the chimney, I know
'Cuz I heard a voice say
...
...
As he fumbled his way
To the chimney, I know
'Cuz I heard a voice say
...
...
"This better be goodOne more house and I'm done!"
Then he scaled down the chimney
with a pepper spray gun
...
I fled as the monsterSqueezed out of the chute
It was TSA Santa
Come to steal all our loot
...
...
With a sack in one hand
(Like he does with young boys)
He stole all our iPads
and cameras and toys
...
...
(Like he does with young boys)
He stole all our iPads
and cameras and toys
...
...
He stripped us of everythingand slithered away
to prep all the items
for sale on eBay
...
...
...
TSA SantaLoves holiday cheer
He can steal much more stuff
At this time of the year
...
He crushes your testiclesAnd little boys' dreams
Making good on Big Government's
Tyranny schemes
...
...
If TSA Santatries to steal all your loot
Aim your twelve gauge with care
and don't blink when you shoot
...
For the world would be better
without tyranny and fear
We could all enjoy Christmas
And a Happy New Year!
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