|
While walking down the street one day, a Republican
head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in
heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter.
"Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a
high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do
with you."
"No problem, just let me in." says the
Republican.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher
up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in
Heaven," says the Republican head of state.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with
that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to Hell.
The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a
green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it
are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him,
everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug
him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at
expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on
lobster and caviar.
Also present is the Devil (a Republican, too), who
really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling
jokes. They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is
time to go.
Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the
elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on
Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven."
So 24 hours pass with the Republican head of state
joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the
harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24
hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another
in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
He reflects for a minute, then the head of state
answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been
delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in
the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all
his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black
bags. The Devil comes over to the Republican and lays an arm on his neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the Republican
head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club
and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all
there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
|