It's the Snicker Stupid when George Bush directs his derisive laugh at you, his audience is left with no choice but to believe that "his opponent" is a loser.
by Will Declan
John Kerry is in a lot of trouble this election year. Those of us in the Northeast or in California probably don't understand why, because it seems obvious to so many of us that - even if the Kerry/Edwards ticket isn't the strongest the Democratic Party could have put forward - George Bush has absolutely no business being reelected. But, believe it or not, in many other parts of the country, the populace feels the same way about John Kerry. And if you took the time to explore it, you'd probably realize why.
No. It's not gay marriage. It's not the war. It's not even the economy.
It's the snicker, stupid.
George Bush knows how to get the votes of Republicans and Independents, and he can do it despite his own failures. He doesn't have to run on his record, and he doesn't have to ask the American people to vote for him. Why? Because George Bush knows how to effectively use shame and embarrassment to win elections.
Let me explain: George Bush and his political allies have attacked Kerry since February on the basis of one vote - that $87 billion failure. Bush uses that vote to emphasize the flip-flop, waffling nature of "his opponent" (Bush never refers to Kerry by name, lest he acknowledge the formidableness of his adversary). He says his opponent has noble intentions, then refers to Kerry derisively (usually as "that Senator from Massachusetts), gives the audience (and viewers at home) that sh*t-eating smirk of his, mentions that his opponent is indecisive, and then, without fail: he effuses that demeaning, sarcastic, wheezy, deprecating laugh with which we have all become too familiar.
Do you have any idea how powerful that obnoxious, mean-spirited little giggle is? It has more power than anything that George Bush could say or do as President. That damn snicker is belittling; it is humiliating; and it reminds us all what it feels like to be laughed at like that. And the laugh is not just directed at the Democrats, it's addressed at anyone that is considering casting a vote for John Kerry.
Voters will put up with a lot of crap. We'll pay higher taxes. We'll give up some of our civil liberties. We'll even send our sons, daughters, wives, and husbands to fight a war that we have no business fighting. But, by God, voters do not want to be laughed at. The cruel truth is that we almost always value our stupid pride over our own self-interest.
That very laugh is precisely why the Prom King is Prom King. God knows that no one liked the Prom King or Student Council President in high school, but, we were shamed into voting for him, lest we feel like the jackass that's getting laughed at with that bitter, sarcastic, mean-spirited chortle. Once you have power, you don't have to address the merits of an issue or stand by your record; you need only humiliate your adversary. All you have to do is plant that feeling of degradation into your constituency and associate your "opponent" with those feelings of shame, and there is no way they're going to vote against you.
Listen, folks: George W. Bush is the Prom King of America . He's that snotty a**hole that picked on his classmates because they weren't normal (read: wealthy, middle-class white person), and if you called him on his bullshit, he didn't deny, or apologize, or take a swing at you in person - he leveled the ultimate humiliation: He laughed at you.
John Kerry - if you want to win this election - heed this advice: Stop letting George Bush laugh at you. If you want to defeat this man in November, forget about what you've seen in the movies or on TV: You cannot take the higher ground. It doesn't work. This kind of guy rarely gets his comeuppance, and if you want to give it to him, you have got to stoop to his level.
The majority of people who don't vote along party lines don't make up their mind based on the issues. They vote based on the person, and if you let George Bush mock and belittle you anymore, you're going to lose. And - like Dukakis - you're going to lose huge. You have to put the issues aside, and you have to attack. You have to make the voters feel like Bush makes them feel - ashamed to vote for his opponent. Because no matter how intelligent you are, because no matter how much you know your stuff, people are not going to vote for a schmuck. And when George Bush directs that laugh at you, his audience is left with no choice but to believe that "his opponent" is a schmuck.
If John Kerry convinces the American public - not that George Bush is evil or reckless, because people respect the kind of power it takes to be evil or reckless - but that George Bush is a putz, then you might just have a chance in November. But, if you roll over and let the President use his power to laugh at you, it's already over, buddy, and it's us - not you - that's going to have to pay for the next four years.
John Kerry - if you have the convictions and strength you keep telling us you have - show it to us! And don't hem and haw. You don't have enough charisma to evade with an answer that takes both sides. Right or wrong, lay it out for us, and lay it out with the force of your conviction. And when someone asks you about the President's policies, don't address their merits. Don't pick them apart one by one, and don't explain why your policies are better than his. And whatever you do, don't come right out and say George Bush is an idiot. But, you can give the camera a look. A long, winking look. You can furrow your brow and give America a glare that says, "Are you kidding me? There are actually people in America that would vote for this guy? Give me a f*cking break."
Senator Kerry, do yourself and the rest of us a favor: Wipe that f*cking smirk off the President's face.
Will Declan will@pajiba.com is a Boston lawyer and freelance writer. He is the owner and publisher of Pajiba.com, a Political Commentary and Entertainment Review website.
