The Hurricane Defense Shield

         I was reading an article by flashlight the other day as the fourth hurricane this season was battering Florida. The article was about the still inoperative Missile Defense Shield. This project has been nothing but a hole (a very wide and deep hole) for the Defense Department to throw tax-payer money into.
     After a little research, I couldn’t find a definitive explanation on how the Missile Defense shield would work. There are theories of course, but the best explanation came from comedian David Cross. He said it was “a net made of magic held in place by pixies in Kevlar vests.” Sometimes it takes a comedian to reveal the truth by accentuating the absurd.
     Many would argue (mostly those who are still banking fat checks from the Defense Department) that too much time and money has been spent on this project to abandon it now. Though this project was born in the eighties and should’ve died in the eighties, under the current “stay the course despite all logic or common sense” Bush administration, it is very unlikely the money for this failed project will dry up anytime soon.
     Since we’re already consumed with funding impossible dreams, why don’t we abandon the Missile Defense Shield and pretend to work on something we really need? How about a Hurricane Defense Shield? Maybe I’ve got hurricanes on the brain as do most Florida residents, but tell me- how many missiles have hit the United States? Unless you watch Fox News (God knows- what part of history they’re revising this week), the answer should be zero. Now- how many hurricanes have hit the United States? I don’t have the number handy, but let’s just say it’s a lot.
     In theory, it would work much like the Missile Defense Shield, but we need to get beyond theory so we need an incentive. Money hasn’t been incentive enough for those involved with the Missile Defense Shield, so we need to get creative.
     Let’s turn one of our fine Florida beaches into a beachfront mobile home park and make it mandatory for our senators and congressmen to live there. We could even have a double-wide White House. I’m sure that if our leaders were faced with devastation or the threat of it every hurricane season, they would be on top of this project quicker than you could say FEMA.
       I’m sure most Floridians fear the next letter of the alphabet much more than an Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile. If our leaders had to live through a hurricane season like this one, believe me- they would demand results. And that would be tax-payer money well spent.
     Who knows? Maybe with the added pressure, they might come up with something viable. Yeah, maybe reading with a flashlight has affected my thinking, but can’t a man dream?