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Another America Hater For Bush ( satire)

by Michael Arvey

 

 

I'm another one of those America haters you hear about so frequently from the "echo chamber," as it's been called. That's why I'm voting for George W. Bush--we need a strong and derisive, America-hating (and world-hating) leader for another four years.  What does Bush, and therefore his minions such as myself, hate? What not?

 

We hate environmental regulations, clean air and water. We hate freedoms, and that's why we love the anti-Constitution--the so-called the Patriot Act-- which mirrors Hitler's hateful Enabling Acts. We love Big Bro. We hate gays. We hate uncontrolled laughter. We hate losers and failures who have no discipline. We hate pink hair. We hate welfare unless it supports a bloated military and industries that can blow up the world a thousand times over. We hate unions but we love cheap labor. We hate rights and due process.  We hate John Kerry and his genuine war record; we hate him for speaking truth to Vietnam. We hate veterans who stand against wars. We love Freerepublic.com: "Who wants Hitlery to be able to campaign in '08 as a widow..."

 

We hate public education and taxes on the rich. We hate big government except when it helps our businesses. We love the idea of Jesus. And we, who want to do the determining, hate self-determination as applied to other nations.

 

We hate socialism. We hate commies. We hate liberal higher education. We hate girlie men; we love fascism though we deny it. We love Osama and Saddam--they give meaning and direction to our empty, imperial lives.  We hate dissent in any form. We hate Planned Parenthood but love our family values. We hate abortion, people of color, free sex, hippies and hip hop. We love free -speech pens. We hate spontaneous questions. We hate an independent press and the liberally-biased media. We hate democracy and fairness in voting. We love Diebold. We love our dictators who do what we say, not what we do. We love terr'rists, and we'll milk the global terr'rist conspiracy theme for as long we we are able to, just as we did with the commies. After terr'rism, we'll hunt down the totalitarian ETs who want to enslave the world and take away our liberties. So jettison your fantasies regarding fairness, honesty, and any other silly and impractical sentimentality. Become one with us. Love the lies-- vote for fear and hatred and a weakened America. Vote Bush in November. Four more years!

 

Michael Arvey (marvey@email.com) writes from Colorado.