Bush-Speak--a much-abridged Dictionary

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By Vince Williams (about the author) Page 1 of 3 page(s)

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For OpEdNews: Vince Williams - Writer

THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S DICTIONARY is, by anyone's measure, a lexicon that adds a myriad of new definitions to our language. Over the past six years, our inference of the world of word-meanings has undergone a metamorphosis due quite literally to George W. Bush and his confederates. Naturally, in such a wholesale re-working of the language, we cannot expect to present a comprehensive list of words in the limited space below. However, we do suggest that when the George W. Bush library is constructed, there might be included volumes which assist us all in a better apprehension of this time in our nation's history. Note: "Apprehension" CAN mean, you know, just understanding, and need not always connote a suspicion or fear of future evil or a foreboding and consternation, dread, horror, panic, trepidation and/or an anxiety. Though the selection of the word here is not an accident.

Anyway, we DO NOT expect George Bush to add to HIS afore-mentioned library any AUTO-biograpical material written SOLELY by himself. Although, we DO expect an "AUTO-biography" to be there, which provides us with our first definition among others we've included below.

AUTO-biography, n. a book written about my life, can be mostly by a ghost writer (which gets me off the hook), that reports stuff "authorized" by me after someone tells me what's in it. I don't care so much if it's mostly fiction as long as it sounds good and is presented as fact. Also, it can include many of the terms below.

AUGMENTATION, n. assisting others in their efforts.

CRACKED EGG, n. what the Iraq war has become. An egg that is capable of being UNcracked. Newly coined term: "the Iraq crack attack".

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED". phrase calculated to supply political points showing how SOLDIER I really am and how I've already won a war. A photo-op that can show "US" in a combat flight suit aboard an aircraft carrier.

WMD, n. what a hostile country has when we want to go to war with them. If there are other benefits such as access to oil, and multi-billion dollar profiteering opportunities for such corporations such as Halliburton, hey, we won't turn 'em down.

OIL, n. that which will pay for our waging the war in Iraq. (never mind that the price tag is now 1.2 TRILLION dollars and counting.) Ok, maybe it was one of our few mistakes.

CHEMICAL WEAPONS, n. in addition to "NUKE-YOU-LER" weapons, just the mention of these is always useful in striking even more fear in the entire country, AND galvenizing our base.

BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS, n. no-one likes to be sick.

SUCCESS, n. What we're fighting for; and please don't mention the over 3000 soldiers killed, over 20,000 wounded; and more than 34,000 Iraqis killed just last year, with a total Iraqi death toll of more than 600,000 men, women and children. Oops!

VICTORY, n. undefined; "We'll know it when we see it."

ECONOMIC BOOM, n. record territory for the stock market. Tax breaks for the wealthiest 2% of people in the land, and biggest corporations.

WINNING, transitive v. sponsoring an election in which 12 million Iraqi citizens (out of a national population of around 26 million) voted for putting in government that's on "borrowed time" led by a president who is on "borrowed time". After all, this is a DEMOCRACY since The United Iraqi Alliance, endorsed by Iraq's top Shiite clerics, captured more than two-thirds of the 3.3 million votes. This Alliance win sealed the Shiite majority's bid to claim power after centuries of domination by Sunni Arabs, including years of oppression by Saddam Hussein's Sunni-led regime. How do YOU spell "relief"? If this isn't DEMOCRACY, it doesn't exist.

GOD. n. the GUY who lives UP in heaven above the clouds, and who listens to me when I ask for things. Other words, opposite to "Devil".

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I was born when I was yet quite young, and was second-born in a litter of two. My twin sister and I are not now, nor have we ever been, identical as evidenced by our differing balding patterns: she has very little facial hair. If you look us (more...)

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