Exclusive to OpEdNews:
OpEdNews Op Eds

REPUBLICANIA (The Disease)

By (about the author)     Permalink       (Page 1 of 1 pages)
Related Topic(s): ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; (more...) ; ; ; ; ; ; , Add Tags  (less...) Add to My Group(s)

View Ratings | Rate It

opednews.com

REPUBLICANIA, The Disease What is Republicania (RPBLC)? RPBLC is a quasi-neurological disorder defined by recurrent thoughts and repetitive behaviors that RPBLC sufferers feel driven to perform. People with RPBLC sometimes know their thoughts and actions are irrational or excessive, yet they have little or no control over them. Typical Thoughts and Actions Assigning aspersions of dirt, germs and contamination to Democrats, fear of not acting violently or aggressively enough towards their perceived enemies, feeling overly responsible for the safety of eight-cell embryos, abhorrent religious (blasphemous) and sexual thoughts assigned to anyone not in agreement with themselves, and an inordinate concern with order, arrangement or symmetry so long as it does not conflict with what they've been told to believe by leaders in their party. Typical Concerns Repetitive behaviors such as excessive castigations of Democrats. Ritualistic behaviors seem to lessen the distress from these concerns, but buy only short-term comfort at the long-term cost of frequent ritual repetition. What are some of the other symptoms of RPBLC? People with RPBLC may become demoralized or depressed. Feelings of intense anxiety, discomfort or disgust are common. Other symptoms that may be related to RPBLC are vicious attacks based on unfounded suspicions and fears directed towards various balanced media outlets (Trickytalkomania), the preoccupation with a minor or imagined body-politic defect (body-politic dysmorphic disorder), severe or extreme adversary biting or the unfounded fear of all those in opposition having a serious and dangerous illness (HypedUPchondriasis). How many people suffer from RPBLC in the United States? RPBLC is the FOREMOST quasi-neuropsychiatric illness in the United States. One in 15 adults and one in 35 children suffer from RPBLC at some point in their lives. This means that at any one time in the United States, at least 20 million people are experiencing the symptoms of RPBLC. What is the course of RPBLC? If not treated appropriately, RPBLC is usually chronic with waxing and waning of symptoms. In some cases (although, by no means reliably), symptoms remain under control; in others, the RPBLC may follow a progressive deteriorating course and become disabling. How disabling is RPBLC? Impairment ranges from mild to severe. Sometimes symptoms are crippling. Many individuals, however, including doctors, lawyers, engineers, educators, homemakers, businessmen! women, factory workers, performers and entertainers continue to function, despite recurring symptoms of RPBLC. However, RPBLC takes a toll on the sufferer, his/her family and co-workers (and the entire country in general), even when a sufferer only experiences symptoms DURING election times. Are people with RPBLC "crazy?" No.The behaviors may seem "crazy," but the person performing them is not. In fact, an RPBLC sufferer is OFTEN quite aware of the excessiveness or irrationality of his/her fears or behaviors, yet is unable to control them. What are the possible causes of RPBLC? The exact causes of RPBLC are still unknown. However, researchers strongly suspect that a biochemical imbalance is involved. Alterations in one or more of the brain's chemical systems that regulate repetitive behaviors may be related to the cause of RPBLC. These balances may be inherited. Psychological factors and stress may heighten symptoms. What types of treatment are available for RPBLC? There are two treatments that have been proven effective against RPBLC. They include cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) and a medication which results in THE OVERWHELMING LOSS of an election. (Landslidicin). A combination of medication and CBT is often the most effective treatment for RPBLC. What can I do to help? Join the DNC Foundation and be a partner in our efforts to substantially reduce the HARMFUL effects of RPBLC. The search for a cure is lengthy and expensive.The Foundation needs your help to continue its vital education and service programs and to support research in this field.

 

I was born when I was yet quite young, and was second-born in a litter of two. My twin sister and I are not now, nor have we ever been, identical as evidenced by our differing balding patterns: she has very little facial hair. If you look us (more...)
 

Share on Google Plus Submit to Twitter Add this Page to Facebook! Share on LinkedIn Pin It! Add this Page to Fark! Submit to Reddit Submit to Stumble Upon

The views expressed in this article are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.

Writers Guidelines

Contact Author Contact Editor View Authors' Articles

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

10 INDISPENSABLE BROADCAST JOURNALIST'S WORDS/PHRASES

NOT HILLARY, OBAMA, GORE or VILSACK for President. HERE'S the BEST SHOT!

GEORGE WASHINGTON v. george bush. . . Hamlet: See what a grace was seated on this brow, . . .Look you now what follows

SCIENCE proves THE sun does NOT revolve around the earth, and the UNIVERSE does NOT revolve around YOU (or GEORGE BUSH)

30 Talking Points to Favor Obama

DUBIOUS, the WMD SUIT

Comments

The time limit for entering new comments on this article has expired.

This limit can be removed. Our paid membership program is designed to give you many benefits, such as removing this time limit. To learn more, please click here.

Comments: Expand   Shrink   Hide  
3 people are discussing this page, with 4 comments
To view all comments:
Expand Comments
(Or you can set your preferences to show all comments, always)

Unfortunately, your article works equally well whe... by Mark E. Smith on Saturday, Nov 11, 2006 at 7:42:32 PM
I really believe that REPUBLICANIA manifests as mo... by Vince Williams on Saturday, Nov 11, 2006 at 8:22:39 PM
Democrazia is a kinder, gentler form of corporatos... by Mark E. Smith on Saturday, Nov 11, 2006 at 9:44:35 PM
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that did no... by Joel S. Hirschhorn on Sunday, Nov 12, 2006 at 1:49:13 PM