51 online
 
Most Popular Choices
Share on Facebook 38 Printer Friendly Page More Sharing
OpEdNews Op Eds   

A Libby Leniency Letter Received From SATAN

By       (Page 1 of 1 pages)   1 comment
Message The Pen
NATIONAL CHENEY IMPEACHMENT POLL: http://www.usalone.com/cheney_impeachment.php

The judge contemplating sentencing in the "Scooter" Libby case, after his conviction on five counts of perjury, false statements and obstruction of justice, took the unusual step of ordering the letters pleading for leniency on his behalf to be published. There were letters from Paul Wolfowitz, John Bolton, Don Rumsfeld, and others, in some part perhaps a veritable rogue's gallery of scoundrels who have themselves been forced to resign in disgrace recently.

But conspicuously missing was a letter from the Vice President himself, Dick Cheney.

And then lo and behold, we were leaked a copy of one additional letter that had not been published with the rest, apparently signed by Satan, probably not the same person as the vice president, unless it's a pen name of some kind. We reproduce the text of that letter below at the peril of our mortal souls.

******

Dear Judge Walton,

I submit this letter for your consideration in the sentencing of "Scooter" Libby.

I am currently the overlord of the underworld, and have been since my own fall from grace many eons ago. In all that time I have had the opportunity to encounter many individuals distinguished by their utterly pathological evil. In comparison to some of those, Mr. Libby, who stands convicted of less than a half a dozen counts of perjury and false statements and such, is hardly enough to stoke a major fire about. We like to call them little "white" lies down here, cigarette burn level stuff really.

Mr. Libby has not in my professional opinion been given sufficient credit for his role in the outing of Valerie Plame, in as much as the grand jury failed to indict on the underlying treason of that, so I see no reason for your honor to enhance his sentence because he helped by his actions to shield those even more guilty. I must tell you, I feel just terrible about this whole thing for Mr. Libby and his family. Of course, that's the way I usually feel about everything.

I'm sure you have received many other letters praising Mr. Libby for his government service, but you may not be aware of his very active creative writing career. His novel, "The Apprentice", is one of my personal favorites. It was recently republished by St. Martin's Press, described by them as "an everyday tale of bestiality and paedophilia in 1903 Japan . . . packed with sexual perversion, dwelling on prepubescent girls and their training as prostitutes." I highly recommend it for your honor's own late night reading.

In my own experience I have always found Mr. Libby to be a loyal company man, giving me many years of dedicated service already. In fact, I have reserved a special place for him in my organization in the hereafter. From his aggressive defense of fugitive billionaires, to his founding role in the Project for the New American Century, alumni of which masterminded the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq, Mr. Libby has never failed to do my bidding in every possible respect.

As you may anticipate there will be an appeal pending, and it is my respectful hope that "Scooter" will ultimately skate, at least in this life. I'd like to think that we have the appeals courts packed with enough of "our" people so that we may well prevail there. In the meantime, I am asking you to show Mr. Libby the maximum leniency, otherwise it tends to hurt my own recruiting. Instead of prison time I would counsel an official commendation of honor by the court, perhaps even a handsome cash reward as a incentive for others in my minions.

Rest assured that regardless I will take responsibility for all deserving punishment for him for all eternity myself.

Your humble tormentor in chief,

Satan, Esq.
Rate It | View Ratings

The Pen Social Media Pages: Facebook page url on login Profile not filled in       Twitter page url on login Profile not filled in       Linkedin page url on login Profile not filled in       Instagram page url on login Profile not filled in

The Pen is a real person, and the creator of UTalk, a revolutionary new internet radio interface, to make advocacy messages as facile and easy as possible. With this goal in mind we pioneered one click action pages in the political realm, now (more...)
 

Go To Commenting
The views expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of this website or its editors.
Writers Guidelines

 
Contact AuthorContact Author Contact EditorContact Editor Author PageView Authors' Articles
Support OpEdNews

OpEdNews depends upon can't survive without your help.

If you value this article and the work of OpEdNews, please either Donate or Purchase a premium membership.

STAY IN THE KNOW
If you've enjoyed this, sign up for our daily or weekly newsletter to get lots of great progressive content.
Daily Weekly     OpEd News Newsletter
Name
Email
   (Opens new browser window)
 

Most Popular Articles by this Author:     (View All Most Popular Articles by this Author)

The Democratic Party's Plan To THROW The Next Couple Elections

They've Literally Punched A Hole Into Hell, We Need A Crash Alternative Energy Program Now, Assuming We Even Survive

If You Are Not Angry About The Democratic Platform TPP Scam You Are Not Paying Attention

A Supreme Act Of Judicial Treason Against The People Of The United States, And What We Can And Must Do About It

Obama's New "Improved" Leech Therapy

The President Can And Must Invoke 31 USC 3102 To Pay Our National Debts

To View Comments or Join the Conversation:

Tell A Friend